Was it real?
by GAfan1912
Summary: Callie Torres needed to escape from her old life and start again. Moving to Seattle, she erased all reminders of her past and began her life again. Years later, her past comes back to haunt her.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I know that the last thing I should be doing is starting another story. But – there's only one chapter left in 'My mistake' and I just spent most of today tidying up five past chapters of 'The enlistment'. And then I thought of this storyline and it got stuck in my head. So I wrote it down. I promise to update my other two unfinished stories before I focus on this one if that's what people want – unless everyone/anyone thinks this one is better. I'm flexible. Also unbeta'd so I apologise for any mistakes.

Chapter 1: To have and to hold

Groaning at the alarm blaring through her room, Callie makes a swipe at the offending item hoping in vain to shut it up while maintaining the appearance that she's still asleep. Maybe she can trick her clock into thinking that its actual got the time wrong. Knowing that she has to be at the hospital in an hour makes her chastise herself into her pillow at how stupid she was to get drunk – again. Christina Yang really couldn't be drunk under the table, and since Callie had to pay the bar tab last night, she was seriously out of pocket. Who knew that the two women could consume so many shots of tequila. Finally, biting the bullet, Callie opens her eyes and slams her hand down of her alarm clock, stopping it mid-beep. Pulling herself out of bed and into the bathroom, she surveys the damage from the previous night. Raccoon bloodshot eyes, smudged lipstick and dried drool from the corner of her mouth told Callie that she looked as good as she felt. Checking that her tongue did in fact not have fur growing on it, Callie stumbles into the shower turning the taps on hard in an attempt to wash away this god awful hangover. Standing under the shower, Callie feels herself slowly wake up.

Making herself look presentable, Callie enters the kitchen area and spots Christina drinking her coffee and attempting to keep her eyes open at the same time. She looks no better than Callie, she slightly improves Callie's mood.

'Never again Yang, I am never trying to beat you at a drinking game. You are the devil reincarnated when it comes to tequila. And my liver will curse your name for the rest of my existence' Callie says as she pours herself a gigantic cup of coffee.

'Don't talk so loud' Christina manages to mumble as she barely raises her head to greet Callie 'And you should know by now – that no one beats me when it comes to tequila. And seriously, I have no idea how we managed to spend a week's worth on rent on booze at Joe's last night. That my friend, is true talent'. Both women fall silent as they attempt to comprehend that their pounding headaches are here to stay irrespective of the amount of coffee and pills they consume. Callie snags the newspaper sitting on the counter and notices the date in the right hand corner. A wave of pain radiates from Callie's heart causing her hand to jolt and spill hot coffee on her hand. Her hands tighten into fists in anger, scrunching the paper up with it. Realising that her day is not going to get better, she gulps down the remainder of her coffee thriving in the burning feel it leaves as it travels down to her stomach. Christina finally lifting her head, notices Callie's movements as she scrunches the paper into a ball, chucking in the bin and then storming off to her room.

Callie enters her room, slamming the door behind her and instantly regrets that move due to her headache. Grasping her head in pain, Callie attempts to control her breathing. She begins to pace and she attempts to calm her emotions by kicking at the clothes, magazines and books which litter her bedroom floor. Grabbing her phone from her nightstand, she quickly scrolls through and realising that she doesn't have a message, allowing her to breath a little easier. Callie then turns the phone off and shoves it in her back pocket. Finally reigning in her emotions, Callie grabs her bag and heads out of her room. 'You coming' she yells out to Christina who is yet to move from the breakfast bar. Christina watches Callie moving through the room as she picks up books and magazines, placing them back on the coffee table. Something had got Callie riled up and Christina was curious to know what it was – when she had more energy, she'd question Callie. Callie continues to glare at Christina waiting for her to move. Finally slouching off her stool, Christina heads to her own room to collect her gear.

Entering the hospital, the women move to the residents lounge and quickly change into the light blue scrubs. Giving a half-hearted grunt goodbye, the two women part ways as they head off to their respective wings to partake in rounds. Callie, as the only 5th year resident interested in Ortho, is essential left to her own devices. Checking in on her own patients, briefly converses with each one, answering any questions they may have. With no impending surgeries, Callie realises that she has a pretty light day which is a good thing considering her headache. Briefly wondering how Christina is coping considering the fact that she had more to drink, Callie continues to fill in her charts at the nurses counter, Callie prays that the day remains slow with no difficult surgeries which would leave her trapped in the OR for hours on end. Checking in with the Head of Ortho, Dr Chang, Callie is given no additional patients for the day and then heads down to the ER to see if she can lend a hand. The rest of the morning pasts in a blur of consults and non-surgical cases that just needed at Ortho sign-off. Callie feels her headache slowly lessen but her mood hasn't improved. Yelling at two interns for their incompetence, Callie reduced one to tears when he x-rayed the wrong arm. Feeling that she can at least face the idea of eating lunch, Callie heads in the direction of the cafeteria.

Entering the cafeteria for her lunch break, Callie seeks out a corner table where she can hide from the masses. Not wanting to be disturbed by annoying interns in an attempt to get on her rotation, she rests her head on the table as she ponders weather her salad is worth eating. Hearing a chair squeak on the lino floor next to her, she spots Mark Sloan slump in the seat next to her with his trademark apple.

'I see someone is a little worse for wear' he says as he observes the bloodshot eyes of his best friend 'I did warn you, drinking Yang under the table is mission impossible and clearly a health hazard.'

Lifting her head, Callie doesn't even bother to reply as she decides that she will eat her salad, even if it does look unappetising. She doesn't _think_ she'll throw it back up. 'Good morning?' She questions as she watches Mark crunch into his apple. Before either surgeon can continue their conversation, a frazzled Bailey joins the table.

'I never…who does she think she is. Coming in here and changing our treatment schedule. Miss I went to John Hopkins and am better than everyone else. She clearly thinks that the sun shines out of her behind.' Bailey mumbles to herself and she stabs furiously at her lunch. Both Mark and Callie stare at the smaller surgeon who is clearly in her own world. Bailey usually avoided the cafeteria, preferring lounges where she can get some peace and quiet. But clearly she needs to vent and sought out anyone who would listen.

'Ah, Bailey, is everything ok?' Callie asks as she lays a comforting hand on the surgeons shoulder to draw her out of her internal monologue.

'No everything is not ok Dr Torres. That woman came in and battered her pretty blue eyes and got Dr Kinley all tied in knots.' Bailey exclaims. Callie still not understanding what could had merited one of Bailey's famous rant, turns to Mark for support. Being the biggest hospital gossip, Mark will be of assistance in deciphering Bailey's somewhat incoherent rant.

'The new Ped's fellowship recipient started work today. She's some hot shot from John Hopkins's which the Chief was able to steal with a large pay packet and the offer of Head of Ped's once her fellowship is finished as Dr Kinley will retire. So she's the Chief's new golden girl and his coup of the year. Anyway, she's hot, like ridiculously hot. Bright blue eyes, blonde hair and a body to die for. Anyway, when I was checking a patient up in Ped's, the new girl and Kinley were doing their rounds. He was a bumbling, stumbling mess around her. Fawning over her like there is no tomorrow, asking her opinion on everything. Clearly, our Head of Ped's is a bit taken by his Fellow. Bailey must be real excited that the two of them will spend the next three years together.'

'A bit taken, a bit taken!' Bailey says as her eyes open wide and Mark's apparent severe down playing of the situation. 'He follows her around like a little lost puppy waiting for her to praise him for a job well down. And did you hear me say that she changed OUR treatment schedule. The very same schedule that I spent weeks working on so Samuel's body would be able to cope. And she has the nerve to tell me that he should have been put on the UNIOS waiting list weeks ago. Implying that we were slowly killing the boy due to our apparent incompetence!' Bailey ends her rant with another furious stab at her lunch as if pretending that it's the head of this troublesome Ped's Fellow. Callie and Mark slightly taken aback by Bailey's rant remain silent as they stare at the feisty surgeon as she attacks her lunch with gusto.

'So, anyway I was hitting on her and all. Telling her I could show her around Seattle and all. She wasn't interested at all.' Mark says as he tries to move the conversation along.

'Which is probably a good thing since you and Little Grey have that thing going on. I can say that you are dating once you tell Derek about it.' Callie replies. 'Break her heart Sloan and you and little Sloan will become separated for good. Or maybe Derek will do that once you tell him that you've been sleeping with the very woman he told you not to. ' She continues as she glares at Mark.

'I know, I know. I was just having a little fun you know?' Mark responds as he looks sheepish. 'I guess old habits die hard. And she is ridiculously hot. Oh look, here she comes now. Looks like she's on a warpath. You had better go run and hide Bailey. What did you do?' Mark stutters out as he begins to laugh at the murderous look on Bailey's face as she shoots daggers at this woman.

'I removed her name from the surgical board as I'm not sure than she is a competent surgeon' Bailey mutters out as she stares at her food, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. 'I mean I don't trust her as she clearly has her wires crossed if she thinks she can just come in here and tell me what to do. And another thing, she gets the patients to call her Dr Z because of her first name. What were her parent's thinking. What kind of name is…' Callie finally deciding to catch a glimpse of the new surgeon that has got the Ped's floor in an uproar, glances around and lays eyes on a woman stalking towards their table.

'Arizona' Callie mutters out in a dark voice as she observes the Ped's Fellow and bane of Bailey's existence weave between the tables, her eyes solely focussed on Bailey. Truth be told, she is also the bane of Callie's existence.

'Hey, how do you know her name?' Mark asks, surprise written over his face at Callie's knowledge of the Ped's Fellow's first name. It hadn't come up in their conversation as of yet.

'Because she's my ex-wife.'

A/N: So ah thoughts? Did you expect it? Anyone interested?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you for all the reviews and alerts that people have placed on this story. As a reward, I'm going to update the story much sooner than I expected. Special thanks goes to xXx-teesha-xXx. Without your invaluable help and ideas, I wouldn't have been able to pull this chapter together so quickly. The large blocks of italics through the story are flashbacks.

As Arizona storms towards the secluded table in the corner of the cafeteria, her eyes remain focussed on Miranda Bailey. The chief resident had the audacity to remove her name from the surgical board leaving the blonde surgeon infuriated. Never having been exposed to such insolence from a resident before, Arizona intends to put this woman back in her place. Noticing that two other people are sitting at the table, Arizona briefly glances at them, wondering if Bailey has said anything to slander her reputation. Glimpsing the women on Bailey's left, Arizona immediately grinds to a halt as staring daggers at her is Calliope, her ex-wife. Briefly conversing with the other people sitting at the table, Callie gets up and turns her back on Arizona and quickly walks out the cafeteria. The older man sitting at the table, throws a bemused look in the direction of Arizona and follows after Callie leaving Bailey alone at the table.

As Callie storms out of the cafeteria, her mind begins to whirl at why her ex-wife was marching towards Bailey in **HER** cafeteria. The implications of Arizona being in the same hospital are also causing the Latina to worry. No one knew that she had been married and the gossip mill at SGH will have a field day upon finding out that Callie has one failed marriage behind her. And all her friends and colleagues will ask questions about her past, something Callie had hoped could remain in the past. Hearing Mark call out for her to slow down, Callie doesn't bother and continues to head in the directly of the resident's lounge. Throwing her locker open, Callie searches through her gear until she pulls out her phone. Turning it back on, she notices she has four missed calls from Arizona evenly spaced throughout the morning. Spotting that Arizona has left voicemail messages, Callie turns the phone to speaker and listens to her ex-wife's voice ring out through the room.

'_Hey Calliope, it's Arizona…ah, we need to talk. I know that today's a bad day and all, but can you call me back? It's kind of important that I catch up with you today. So, please?' _Callie notes that the first missed call came through just after Callie turned off her phone before she had left for work. Moving onto the second voicemail, Callie presses play.

'_Hey, it's me again. Obviously. Clearly you don't want to talk to me, But please, call me? I know today is probably the last day you want to talk to me and I'm sorry that I'm contacting you. But please Calliope, call me?'_ Callie feels anger at the blonde take over her as she listens to the voicemail messages. Arizona decided to show up at her hospital on what would have been their fifth wedding anniversary. Oh the irony of the situation. Pressing play on the final recording, a slightly flustered voice rings out.

'_Ok, so I'll just tell you in this recording because you are clearly not going to call me back. Real mature Calliope. I got a new job. At your hospital. So, I ah, I start today. I'll try and track you down today so I can explain this in full. I have to go.' _Arizona ends with a slight hitch in her breath as the bustle of the Ped's ward pulls her away from continuing with the voicemail message on her ex-wife's phone. Callie sits the now silent phone on her lap and lets out her exasperated sigh. Her worst fears had been confirmed when she had seem Arizona storming towards Bailey in the dark blue scrubs of an attending. Arizona Robbins really did work at Seattle Grace Hospital. As Callie comprehends this, her head drops and her shoulders slump in the knowledge that she can no longer run from her past.

The door to the lounge slowly opens and Callie looks up, expecting to see her ex-wife enter the room. Instead Mark glances in and upon seeing Callie slumped on the bench, walks in, shutting the door behind him. Silence falls between the two surgeons as Mark warily watches Callie fiddle with the phone in her lap. Her frazzled appearance puts Mark on edge making him unsure of how to broach the ex-wife subject. As the silence drags on, Mark finally asks, 'So, you have an ex-wife? How'd that come about?'

'The normal way Mark, how do you think it happened. I got married, then I got divorced.' Callie snaps taking out some of her anger on Mark. Although not Mark fault, Callie feels betrayed by the Arizona just showing up and needs to lash out at someone.

'I understand that, but don't you think you could have mentioned this before?' Marks asks from his position leaning against the lounge wall.

'Talking about one's ex-wife isn't something that comes up in casual conversation.' In a sarcastic voice, Callie continues 'Oh hey Mark, did you see LeBron James's 12 rebounds for the Cleveland last night and, oh, just so you know I also have an ex-wife.' Callie finally looks up at Mark and sees a hurt look on his face at Callie's anger towards him. 'I'm sorry Mark, that was uncalled for. This isn't your fault. I just didn't think I would ever have to talk about her to anyone in Seattle. She lives in New York. She was the wonder-kid at John Hopkins. Well, she that's where she was the last I heard. Although she clearly doesn't anymore' Callie ends as her mind drifts to Arizona.

Once upon a time, the sight of the blonde would cause Callie's heart rate to pick up and a large smile would grace her face. She'd pull the blonde into a secluded corner or room so they could have some privacy. In happier times, they'd text each other throughout the working day, hoping they could grab a few minutes alone together. They'd grab lunch together in an on-call room as they'd discuss their upcoming surgeries or anything else. With Callie's ridiculous hours as an intern, that took any moment they could get together. They use to be so comfortable around each other, like any other newlywed couple. Their friends use to tease them incessantly about how inseparable they were. And now Arizona has the nerve to start working at Callie's hospital on their wedding anniversary. Who would have known that five years ago, the couple that all their friend's aspired to be would be unable to stand being in the same room as each other. Those five years ago, Callie thought she was experiencing the happiest day of her life as she married her one, true love. How wrong was she.

XXXX

_Standing behind the closed chapel door, Carlos Torres slides his arm through his daughter's as he prepares to walk her down the aisle. One of the happiest days of his life would become the moment when he watches his eldest daughter marry the love of her life. Arizona Robbins and his daughter made quite a stunning pair. Meeting at medical school, the two women had been dating for years. When Calliope had told him she was dating a woman, Carlos Torres had baulked at the thought and cut his daughter off, removing all his financial assistance. If anything, has actions had pushed the two women closer together as they attempted to make ends meet as two college students. Callie had given up her apartment and moved in with Arizona until she got back on her feet. Except Callie had never moved back out and the two women had been inseparable ever since. _

_Mr Torres had attempted a second time to talk his daughter as he missed the relationship he had once had with his eldest daughter. The ensuing fight had left Mr Torres confused at his daughter's refusal to give up her relationship. However, Arizona had tracked the man down and convinced him otherwise during her impassionate speech. Arizona's final statement still resounds in his mind when he thinks about his soon to be daughter-in-law 'I'm a good man in a storm. I love your daughter. And I protect the things that I love. Not that I need to. She doesn't need it. She's strong, and caring, and honourable. She's who you raised her to be.' By meeting Arizona Robbins, Mr Torres had been bowled over by the woman that his daughter had come to love. Ashamed of his actions, Mr Torres welcomed Arizona with welcome arms. He finally understood the love that Callie had for the woman. Carlos Torres strongly believed that Arizona was the best thing in his daughter's life. _

_The day that Arizona had called him, asking if she had permission to for Callie's hand in marriage hadn't been unexpected. The two women were inseparable and Mr Torres had known for a while that there would be a marriage in their future. He could hear the nerves in Arizona's voice as she proclaimed her love for Callie, not that he could ever doubt. He knew than the couple were ready for marriage. And Carlos Torres wanted grandchildren. The couple had decided to get married in Canada as it recognised same-sex marriages The recognition was something both women craved and Carlos Torres had no issues footing the bill to fly all the couple's friends and family to the venue. The two women just wanted to be married. Turning to talk to his daughter and she fidgets with her wedding dress, 'Mija, are you ready?' _

'_Daddy, I think I've been ready to marry Arizona my entire life' Callie replies, her eyes shining as she thinks of her fiancée and soon to be wife. The music begins to play and the doors to the chapel slowly open with both brides catching their first glimpses. Callie feels tears well in her eyes as she sees Arizona at the altar, waiting for her. She is practically glowing in her gown, her blonde hair shining from the sunlight through the bay windows. As Callie slowly walks up the aisle, both women stare at each other, unable to drag their eyes away. Reaching the altar, Carlos Torres hands his daughter over to Arizona and steps back, leaving the two women alone. He is comfortable in knowing that Arizona Robbins will protect, love and cherish his daughter. _

'_You look so beautiful Calliope' Arizona whispers as she runs her hand over Callie's dress. This was the first time Arizona had seen Callie in her dress, as was the tradition. _

'_Mi amor, you too are beautiful.' Callie replies as she takes in the beautiful sight before her. _

_The ceremony commences and both women focus on each other, barley listening to the officiator. Finally reaching the vows, the women prepare to declare their undying love to each other in front of their family and friends. The two women had selected traditional vows rather than writing their own in reference to Callie's Catholic upbringing. Arizona goes first, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves before she starts talking. _

'_I, Arizona Robbins, take you, Calliope __Iphigenia__ Torres, to be my beloved wife, to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life.' She finishes her vows and slides the gold wedding ring onto Callie's finger. In any other circumstance, she would worry that her hands were shaking. But not now, she is marrying the love of her life. _

_I, Calliope __Iphigenia__ Torres, take you, Arizona Robbins, to be my beloved wife, to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life.' Callie then slides the ring onto Arizona's hand as both women stare into each other's eyes. _

_The officiator of the ceremony declares the two women married with the words 'I know declare you wife and wife, you may kiss the bride.' Even he can't help but smile at the two women before them as it is clear they are deeply in love. _

_The two women kiss to resounding applause from the guests at the wedding. No one notices the grimace gracing Lucia Torres's face as she looks up at her eldest daughter marrying a woman. She barely claps and looks away as her daughter takes Arizona's hand bringing it to her lips. Callie leans over and whispers something in her wife's ear, unaware of her mother's disapproval. Lucia Torres had expected Callie to grow out of her love of Arizona. In her eyes, their love is a sin and her daughter is dead to her. _

XXXX

Watching her ex-wife leave the cafeteria, Arizona turns her view back to Bailey sitting at the corner table. Bailey is staring at Arizona in shock, her mind whirling at the final statement Callie made before she left. Approaching the table more warily, Arizona stops in front of Bailey and glares down at her. 'You and I need to talk, Dr Bailey' Arizona says in a stern voice, as if she is talking to a child. Standing up, Bailey indicates for Arizona to follow after her. As they walk down the hospital corridor, Arizona looks at Bailey and wonders how close her and Callie are? Does she know who Arizona is?

Stepping into an empty on-call room, Arizona whirls on the smaller surgeon as soon as the door is closed. 'What do you think you are doing Miranda? I'm your superior and the last thing I need is for you to go behind my back and remove me from the surgical board. I'll have you know that I was the top of my class at John Hopkins, l like you, was chief resident of my year. I was the protégé of the Head of Peds and I'm fast-tracked to take over the Ped's surgical department here. I know what I'm talking about when it comes to this. So are you seriously doubting my talent as a surgeon?

'Yes I do doubt your talents and clearly I should also doubt your talents as a wife' Bailey snaps out as anger getting the better of her as she delivers that low, personal blow. Bailey is still incensed that about Arizona's dismissal of her treatment plan for the patient and her the fact she implied that she was incompetent. Arizona's eyes widen is shock as she hears Bailey's personal attack and conformation that Bailey is aware of who she is. Taking a deep breath, she attempts to reign in her emotions as she thinks about her ex-wife. Bailey instantly regrets her statement and feels guilty as she observes the pained look that graces the blonde's face. 'I'm sorry, that was uncalled for' Bailey apologises in a small voice 'It's not my place to judge about your relationship with Torres.' The room falls silent as Arizona continues to collects herself.

'I sent your patient's scans to the Head of Peds at John Hopkins. He's going to call me back in a couple of minutes and you can discuss with him the treatment strategy and get a second opinion. Hopefully you will feel more comfortable when you talk to him' Arizona says, changing the subject. 'I'm not a bad person you know' Arizona adds in reference to her ex-wife. 'Things just happen.' As the room falls silent again, each surgeon stare at each other releasing there is no mutual territory between them; both professionally and personally. The silence is broken by the ringing of Arizona's phone, which she promptly answers. Talking briefly with the person on the other end, she hands the phone to Bailey who begins to converse with the John Hopkins's Head of Peds. As they talk, Arizona watches the smaller surgeon. Clearly she is a friend of Callie's or she wouldn't have attacked Arizona in such a personal manner. Callie also wouldn't just share with anyone her failed marriage. Arizona is slightly intimidated by the small surgeon and what Callie has told her. Bailey talks on the phone for several minutes and then hangs up, handing the phone back to Arizona.

'So he agrees with your assessment that further operations are a futile exercise as they will weaken the boy without a health gain. So he stays on the UNIOS list and we pray that we get a call.' Bailey says. 'I'm sorry that I doubted you. And I'm sorry about the other thing too' she adds. 'I'm going to head back up to the ward, are you coming?' Bailey asks as a peace offering.

Shaking her head, Arizona replies 'No, you go ahead. There's someone I have to track down and set some things straight. Page me if you need me' Arizona gets up and heads towards the door.

'She'll be in the resident's lounge on the 2nd floor' Bailey says. 'That's where she goes when she needs time to herself, so chances are she will be there.'

'Thankyou' Arizona says as she steps out of the room, heading in the direction that Bailey indicated. She'd been dreading the task of searching for Callie all over an unfamiliar hospital. Making her way down to the second floor, she finds the relevant room with the door closed. Opening the door, she spots Callie slumped on the bench. Leaning against the wall is the older man who left the table with her. Both sets of eyes glance up as they hear the door open and see Arizona standing in the doorway. Mark, realising he shouldn't be here, shoots a quick glance at Callie as he slips past Arizona and out of the room leaving the ex-wives together.

A/N: Thoughts about the story as I love to hear what you guys think. Next chapter, the two women will finally talk. Oh and, does Arizona have a middle name?


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: So we have finally reached the stage where Arizona and Callie have a conversation. Some questions will be answered. And I have no legal knowledge except watching the 'Good Wife' so bear with the mistakes. Thanks to all the review and alerts, it's nice to know that people are enjoying the story. Again thanks to xXx-teesha-xXx.

Watching Mark slip out of the room, Arizona turns to look at the forlorn figure of her ex-wife, shoulders slumped as she sits on the bench refusing to acknowledge Arizona's presence. 'We need to talk' Arizona says as she steps into the resident's lounge, shutting the door behind her giving them some privacy. Callie continues to stare at the phone sitting in her lap, refusing to meet the blonde's eye. 'You have absolutely nothing to say to me?' Arizona questions as she steps closer to Callie. 'After all these years? You are suddenly lost for words? That's got to be a first. Stop being so god-damn childish Calliope.' Arizona adds in a snarky voice as anger gets the better of her as sits down on the bench across from Callie. Their position to each other throws them back to the last time they saw each other, when they were finalising their divorce.

_XXXX_

_Sitting in the lawyer's office, Callie watches as Arizona and her lawyer file in. Choosing the chair directly across from Callie, Arizona sits down and attempts to garner her wife's attention. Callie's lawyer continues to organise his notes and discuss points with Carlos Torres. Callie and her father had made the flight back to New York yesterday to finalise her divorce. The papers had been filed with the court over the month ago, and the day had come to sign the papers. _

'_Ok, let's get started then' Callie's lawyer says as he looks for conformation from across the table. 'We are here to divide up the belongs and property of Arizona and Calliope Robbins. Although the State of New York doesn't carry out same-sex marriages, the union has been recognise by the state. The divorce will also filed and recognised by the state. As a pre-nuptial agreement wasn't signed prior to the wedding eighteen months ago, Callie's properties, investments and saving exceeds those of your client through the trust fund she inherited when she turned twenty-one' He says, directing the conversation towards Arizona's lawyer._

'_I don't want your money' Arizona snaps out as she draws her eyes away from Callie and glares at Carlos Torres. One of Carlos Torres's fears had been that Arizona would seek half of the total equity owned by the couple. At Callie's insistence, no pre-nuptial had been signed as she claimed it suggested that the marriage was destined to fail. Carlos Torres had been unable to talk his daughter into signing an agreement and had eventually conceded defeat. Arizona's lawyer, having already had this discussion on the trust fund issue with the blonde nods in agreement, confirming that Arizona didn't wish for any of this money._

'_Therefore, is your client content with dividing up the remaining property that was bought into the marriage?' To which Arizona's lawyer nods in agreement flipping through his documents to find the relevant section of the divorce papers. 'The couple own outright and your client continues to reside in apartment 402C located in Lower Manhattan. My client is happy to sign the property over to Arizona Robbins with no financial repercussions.' Callie's lawyer says. Arizona's lawyer nod in agreement, making notes as he goes. 'My client has also already removed all her belongings from the residence and agrees that the rest can remain with the property in the hands of Arizona Robbins.' Again, Arizona's lawyer nods in agreement noting the belongings which now belong to his client. 'The couple own two cars, my client wishes to keep the T-Bird due to its personal, sentimental value. The other car, which is currently being used by your client can again be signed over.' As the lawyers continue to talk, they split the remaining property owned by the two women. The speed at which their marriage is broken down leaves Arizona shaken as she attempts to control her emotions. Arizona had been waiting for Callie to come home, even though the divorce papers had been served. _

'_Calliope…' Arizona whispers out across the table as tears begin to well in her eyes. In the space of five minutes, the two lawyers have essentially divided up all the property the two women owned. Their marriage is nearly over. 'Please…' Arizona begs for Callie's attention. Finally looking up, Callie observes the distraught blonde sitting across the table. _

'_Can you guys give us a minute?' Callie asks the group, looking at her father in particular. Carlos Torres would do anything to protect his daughter and this now included protecting Callie from her wife. _

'_Mija...' Carlos Torres begins to ask in a questioning tone, unsure if the two women should be left alone. _

'_It's fine Daddy, please. I'll call you back in when we are ready.' The remaining people file out of the room, leaving it silent except for Arizona's quiet sobbing. _

'_Thankyou Calliope' Arizona mumbles out as she dries her eyes and attempts to compose herself. Gone are the days when Callie would crawl up against the blonde, pulling Arizona against her chest as she would console the blonde. Callie would whisper in her ear while rubbing the small on her back in a comforting motion which would slowly lull the blonde to sleep. Now Callie didn't even bother responding to her wife, choosing instead to wait for Arizona to speak her mind. 'We can fix this Calliope, please. This can't be over.' Arizona says as she pleads with her wife sitting across the table._

_Callie scoffs at Arizona's comment 'Fix this? Where were you when months ago I pleaded the same thing with you? Oh that's right, you were working, chasing that next surgery while our marriage fell apart because you didn't care. You never talked to me, you never came home, you were just never there.' Callie snaps out as she glares across the table, angry that Arizona suddenly cares about their marriage. _

'_I made a mistake' Arizona murmurs out, enraging the Latina further. _

'_A mistake, no a mistake is forgetting to take the rubbish out or neglecting to tell me that a surgery ran late and you won't make it home for dinner.' Callie retorts as she scowls at her wife. 'What you did wasn't a mistake, you systematically destroyed our marriage Arizona. And you didn't even care. All you carried about was yourself! It took two people to make this marriage but only one to end it. This is your fault. So don't you dare turn this around on me and make me the bad guy.' Callie says as the loudness of her voice slowly increases until she's leaning across the table shouting at Arizona. Arizona begins to sob quietly as she stares up at her furious wife. The love that once shone from Callie's eyes is gone, and now she looks upon the blonde with indifference. 'There's nothing left to say Arizona, we are over.' Callie says in a slow calm voice, making her point. In some ways, the calmness is worse than the shouting. At least with the shouting Arizona knew that Callie still cared. Silence falls between the two women as Callie leans back in her seat, putting distance between them. _

'_Do you still love me?' Arizona quietly asks as she stares at her hands, afraid to read the expression on her wife's face. Arizona doesn't know if she could cope if she saw the expression in Callie's eyes which screamed out 'no'. Callie's eyes widen in shock at the change in conversation and Arizona's pointed question. 'Calliope, do you still love me?' She says in a firmer voice, meeting Callie's eyes. Glancing over Arizona's shoulder, Callie sees her father standing on the other side, observing their conversation. Making a small gesture, Callie indicates that her father should re-enter the room. Quickly joining her daughter in the conference room, he shots a glare at his daughter-in-law. 'Calliope, please answer the question' Arizona implores, refusing the believe that their marriage is over. Callie remains silent and looks away from the distraught figure of Arizona. The lawyers follow soon after and the conversation in the room shifts to ironing out the final details of the divorce. Arizona sobs quietly in her seat while Callie looks anywhere than at her soon to be ex-wife._

_As the documents are written up and proofread by paralegals, the two sides are given a breather away from each other. Callie and her father find a secluded section in the courtyard and sit down. _

'_How are you holding up Mija?'_

'_I'm fine Daddy. I've known this day has been coming for a while. It's not a shock. My marriage has been over for months, this is just a formality.' Callie ends with a forlorn voice. Callie could never have guessed that in just eighteen months, her marriage would be over. Laying a comforting hand on his daughter's shoulder, he sees the pain in her eyes when she thinks about her wife. As a father, it was his duty to protect his children. But Carlos Torres was out of his depth, he couldn't understand how his daughter's marriage had ended so quickly and Callie refused to divulge this information. Realising that their time was up, he takes her hand and leads her back inside to formalise the divorce. _

_Sitting again at the table, Arizona appears more distraught as she wipes the tears that fall from her eyes. Callie again, refuses to meet Arizona's eye as Callie's lawyer reads through the divorce paper, highlighting the major points. Firstly, he hands the paper to his own client. Callie glances once at her father to ensure the document is at a level for his own satisfaction for signing. Without hesitation, Callie takes the offered pen and scrawls her name in the relevant sections, her final act as a married woman. The document is then handed to the opposite side of the table for Arizona's signature. _

'_Calliope…please' Arizona pleads one final time as she implores her wife to give them one final chance. To at least sit down and talk about this rather than walking away. _

'_Sign the document Arizona' Callie replies in a stern voice, turning a blind eye to her wife's distress. _

'_Please.' She implores for a second time, reaching for her wife's hand across the table. Callie pulls her hand away, picking up the pen in front of her. _

'_Sign the god-damn document Arizona! For once in your life do something for me.' Callie says holding the pen out for Arizona to take. Reading the look in her wife's eyes, Arizona realises the battle is lost. Callie is steadfast in her view that their marriage is over and Arizona is out of time to convince her otherwise. Taking the pen from Callie's outstretched hand, she reluctantly signs the document in the relevant sections. And in doing so, the marriage of Arizona and Calliope Robbins is over. Once the document is signed, Callie stands along with her father and shakes her lawyer's hand. They quickly leave the room, not looking back at the forlorn figure of Arizona. Arizona continues to stare long after Callie has turned the corner as she quietly cries at the loss of her wife. _

_XXXX_

Pulling herself out of the depressing memory, Callie snaps at Arizona 'You could have called. A little warning would have been nice. The last thing I expected this morning was to spot my ex-wife in the same hospital that I work in. But oh, I forgot, the only person you care about is yourself so you were never going to give me a heads up.'

'I did call you' Arizona says as she gestures at the phone sitting in Callie's lap. 'And it's not like you answer my calls anyway.' Arizona replies, the tone of her voice indicating that she's getting angry at Callie's indifference to her.

'What? Your calls once every year on our anniversary when you fill up my voicemail with your drunken ramblings about how you miss me? Those I can do without.' Comes Callie's snarky reply. 'And I meant a little earlier, you must have accepted this job months ago. So telling me that you are working here on the day you start shows that nothing has changed. You still only think of yourself. And on our anniversary as well, geez Arizona, you really love screwing with me.' Callie says as she moves away from Arizona, putting some distance between them. Arizona has the grace to look sheepish at Callie's accusation.

'In my defence, I did attempt to find you this morning. I checked the board and the ortho wing but I couldn't find you. I thought you would be an attending by now so I didn't look for a resident' Arizona adds as she gestures at Callie's light blue scrubs.

'Things change Arizona. Is there anything else you would like to point out that's wrong with me? As I clearly can never live up to your expectations! I couldn't when we were married, so I guess I can't do it when we're divorced either.' Callie replies, anger lacing her voice. Silence falls over the room as the two women look warily at each other. 'What are you doing here?' Callie finally asks the question she really wants to know the answer to.

'I got a job that I couldn't refuse. Within the next three years I'm going to be the Head of Paediatric Surgery. This hospital has the second highest rating Ped's ward and I wouldn't become the Head of Ped's at John Hopkins for years as the current Head is so young. This is the opportunity of a life time. So here I am.' Arizona says, the her proudness leaking into her statement at her achievements. 'I'm going to be one of the youngest Head of Paediatric Surgery this hospital has ever seen.'

Callie gives a humourless laugh when she hears Arizona's statement. 'When I heard that there was some young hot-shot from John Hopkins working in the Ped's, I never even considered it would be you. Because oh the irony, the woman who doesn't want kids aspires to be the Head of Ped's. Last time I heard you were the neuro wonder-kid anyway?' Arizona lets out a frustrated sigh at Callie's dig about her desire not to have children. She stands up and approaches Callie, pointing an accusing finger at her.

'Oh, so we are going to go down this path again. Because everything that went wrong in our marriage was my fault wasn't it Calliope? I was a horrible wife that treated you like crap and you were completely innocent in the breakdown of our marriage. Is there anything that else you want to blame me for as all I am to now is your own personal scapegoat. Everything that goes wrong in your life is somehow my fault' Arizona says going on the attack. 'For god's sake, Calliope, you fell in love with a phantom child that didn't exist. You never listened to my fears at all. You only saw was my failures about everything that I did.'

'A fell in love with a child that should have existed' Callie says, amending Arizona's previous statement as she meets Arizona's glare. 'And don't you dare turn this around on me making me sound like an insensitive bitch. You destroyed our marriage Arizona, not me. I gave you the time.' Callie accuses Arizona. The fight is starting to sound like the countless arguments they had while they were married and then separated. Neither woman had been willing to back down and concede defeat. Instead the fight would go in circles leaving both women emotionally drained at the low blows and personal jabs they would hurl at each other.

'Look, let's not fight' Arizona says, holding up the white flag in defeat knowing that Callie will not this issue rest. 'I know this isn't the best situation with me working in this hospital, but can't we just let it go, for now at least.'

'You're right' Callie responds as she moves to leave the room, 'Let's just not talk at all. Especially since our marriage was only good when you weren't around. You see, that's what you do, try and change the subject or pretend that you have to go to work, it was the same in our marriage. Because you are the master of avoidance aren't you Arizona.' As an afterthought as Callie reaches the door, she adds 'And I refuse to believe that you left your beloved John Hopkins for a job offer. So stop screwing up my life and piss off.' With that final venomous attack, Callie leaves the lounge slamming the door behind her.

Surveying the now empty room, Arizona answers Callie's final accusation, 'I came here because I'm still in love with you.'

A/N 2: So just to clear up the timeline of the story. Arizona was two years ahead of Callie at Med school and both attended John Hopkins University. The couple got married before Callie started her internship. They were married for eighteen months – making Callie a second year resident when the divorce was finalised. Callie didn't immediately go to Seattle but took some time off in Miami, about a year or so. They've been divorced for 3 years and Callie is now just beginning her 5th residency. If she hadn't taken the time off, she should be finished her residency which explains Arizona's comment about looking for an attending when she was searching for Callie. Therefore, Arizona is now 3 years of Callie in the career stakes. Hope that helps. If the timeline seems dodgy – please let me know. Or if you have any questions comments let me know. I love to hear from other people about their thoughts and so on. I'm not sure when I'll update next. Although I've written a large chunk of the next chapter, it doesn't sound right yet. So if anyone's interested in being a beta or interested in bouncing an idea off them (even if it's just for the next chapter), let me know.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: So, a lot of people said that so far it seems that Arizona is the only one at fault for the divorce. These next 3 or 4 chapters will explain the series of events leading up to the divorce, and Arizona will not be the only one to blame. This chapter was just irritating to write – I've rewritten most of it because it just came out weird. So I apologise for it in advance if it still sounds bizarre. Thanks again to xXx-tesha-xXx and all the reviews and alerts. Keep them coming as I love to hear everyone's opinion.

After Callie's refusal to listen to Arizona in the resident's lounge, Callie had avoided Arizona at every opportunity. Her mind was whirling about Arizona's presence in Seattle and Callie couldn't make heads or tails of the situation. Respecting Callie's need to process, Arizona hadn't pursued further conversations. Arizona knew from experience that Callie would come to her when she was ready to talk, if she was ever ready to talk. Approaching Callie now would be playing with fire as Mark and Christina had found out when they had attempted to discuss the ex-wife issue with Callie. The Spanish rant that had resulted had left Mark and Christina looking like stunned mullets so the issue was dropped. But this didn't stop Callie from psycho-analysing her conservation with Arizona. Since their divorce, Callie and Arizona had minimal contact with each other resulting in wounds that were yet to heal for Callie. She still felt betrayed and abandoned by Arizona after all these years. Even though divorce had been Callie's idea, the signing of the papers had bought no closure for the Latina. Exacerbating the issue was Callie's lack of a serious relationship since the divorce. Sure she'd had girlfriends and one night stands like any other healthy adult. But for Callie, she felt she'd already loved and lost the one resulting in her being unable to maintain a steady, committed relationship. Her relationships often ended with words emotionally unavailable being hurled about.

Leaning against the nurse's counter in the ortho wing, Callie scrawls an update on a patient's chart. Hearing someone approach from behind and clear their throat, the Latina worries that she's been cornered by her ex-wife. Turning around, she spots Bailey standing a step behind her with a concerned look upon her face. 'Ah, Dr Torres, have you talked to Dr Robbins this morning?' Bailey asks. Over the past few weeks, Bailey and Arizona have formed a comradeship. The two surgeons worked well together after they'd moved on from their rocky beginning. Their relationship remained professional though, Bailey never questioned or judged Arizona about her past and Arizona never raised the topic. Bailey would see the far-away look that would grace Arizona's face whenever she caught a glimpse of Callie and knew that the relationship between the two women was far from over. Bailey often found herself wondering what could possibly ended the relationship between the two women which could have left scars so deep after all these years.

Staring incredulously at Bailey's question, Callie snaps out a reply 'No, and I'd prefer if you didn't talk about my private life at work.' As Callie walks away from counter, she hopes that Bailey takes the hint and drops the issue.

Pursuing Callie, Bailey doesn't let the subject rest, 'It's just that Dr Robbins has vanished. She was here this morning when she did her emergency surgery, but now I can't find her. So I was wondering…' Bailey trails off as she doesn't want to falsely accuse Callie of arguing with Arizona. The gossip surrounding their failed marriage between the two surgeons meant that Arizona was the point of interest in a number of vicious rumours. The rumours ranged from infidelity to domestic abuse and each one was a stab in Arizona's back. Callie had done nothing to dispel the rumours and Arizona didn't have the support within the hospital to set the story straight. Arizona often looked tired and drawn out by the end of her shift as she continuously overheard the slander uttered by the work colleagues about her reputation.

Callie finally comprehends what Bailey has been trying to tell her, 'She's not answering her pager?' Callie questions to which Bailey confirms with a head nod. Whipping her phone out of her pocket, Callie places a call to her ex-wife to placate the smaller surgeon. Going straight to voicemail, Callie finally understands Bailey's concern. It's very unlike Arizona not answer her pager or phone as she's a stickler for chasing that next surgery. Noting the date on her phone, she feels her heart sink as she finally understands Arizona's actions. 'Ah, did you page her a 911?' Callie says.

'No, I only need a consult with her.'

'Can't you find some else? She's not the only paediatric surgeon in the hospital.' Callie asks.

'I need the best, and the best is Dr Robbins. Is she is trouble Torres?' Bailey questions, concern growing about the wayward Ped's surgeon and Callie's apparent understanding of the situation.

'Ah, she's fine' Callie replies scepticism lacing her voice, ' I mean she's still in the hospital, so it can't be that bad. She's not going to leave halfway through her shift. Just page her 911 and she'll show up' Callie comments.

'You did not just tell me to fake a 911 page Torres. You go and tell her that I need her for a consult. Since you apparently understand her behaviour and lack of answering her pager.' Bailey says in a firm voice, placing an emphasis on the fact that Arizona isn't responding to Bailey personally. The look Bailey is shooting is daring Callie to defy her.

'What? No, it's not my job anymore. In case you aren't aware, she's my ex-wife' Callie ends in a whisper, making sure no nurses are overhearing the conversation.

'Find her. As your Chief Resident, I'm giving you an order' Bailey says reiterating her point. Bailey throws one final glare as she walks off leaving a stunned Callie standing alone in the corridor. Bailey knew that Callie's behaviour towards the blonde had been less than stellar and decided to take matters into her own hand, throwing the two surgeons together.

'I'm not her babysitter' Callie's calls out in the direction of Bailey's retreating figure who simply waves her off. Not brave enough to rebel against Bailey, Callie starts walking in the direction she knows Arizona will be, passing through the cafeteria.

Opening the door that leads to the hospital roof, Callie begins to search to track down her wayward ex-wife. While working at John Hopkins together, Arizona has always headed up to the roof to escape. The roof offered the privacy and solitude the blonde craved when she needed to escape and mourn for a lost life. Callie figured that Arizona would act the same way in Seattle especially since Bailey had been unable to find Arizona in the hospital. Spotting her sitting against a vent, a lit cigarette in hand, Callie silently drops down next to her. Arizona doesn't notice her presence as she takes a deep drag on the cigarette.

'I thought you gave them up?' Callie comments as Arizona turns to see her ex-wife sitting next to her. A perpetual argument while they'd been together had been Arizona's habit of smoking when things got stressful. Arizona claimed it acted as a stress relief and as she smoked on rare occasions, Callie usually let it slide. Although, Callie adamant that there would be no physical contact between the two until Arizona showered, brushed her teeth and changed her clothes. The half empty packet sitting at Arizona's feet suggested that the rare occurrence had become more frequent.

'Things change Calliope' Arizona replies, turning her head away from Callie as she breathes the smoke out. The acrid smoke burns in her chest giving her a feeling to cling to, keeping her grounded.

'As a paediatric surgeon, don't you think you should set a good example for the kids. You know, lead by example or something?'

'I'm not going around preaching about the benefits of smoking Calliope, so I think it will all be ok' Arizona replies in a sarcastic voice. Silence falls between the two woman as Arizona sinks back into her own memories and Callie struggles to find a way to address the issue that has Arizona up on the roof in the first place.

'Well, instead of slowly killing yourself, I got you this instead. A sugar rush is preferred to cancer.' Callie says remembering the package in her hand. Callie takes the lit cigarette out of Arizona's hand, stubbing it out as she hands Arizona the bag. Opening the package, Arizona sees the sprinkle covered donuts. Letting out a small smile at Callie thoughtfulness, the loss of the cigarette is forgotten as she picks up her comfort food and takes a bite. As Arizona slowly eats, Callie looks upon her ex-wife for the first time. Dark circles under her eyes and the drawn out expression on her face showing Arizona's sleeping pattern is non-existent. Callie feels partially to blame at the digs she had made at Arizona and her disregard of the rumours spreading around the hospital. But the date has made the situation worse which has resulted in Arizona's ending up on the roof.

Arizona finishes the donuts and turns back to Callie, 'What are you doing up here?'

Remembering the reason she's up here, Callie replies 'Oh, Bailey needs a consult and since you weren't answering your pager she figured I might know where you had gone. So I came to find you and I figured you didn't want people to ah…talk about you any more than they do' Callie ends, suddenly feeling guilty for letting the malicious rumours reach such a level. Arizona's face clouds over as she realises that Callie didn't really doesn't want to be in her presence. Instead Callie was here to drop off a message. 'And since today's, well today, I figured you could use the comfort food. Are you ok? I mean really? Because you don't look good.'

'I'm fine.' Arizona snaps outs.

'Ari…' The use of Callie's nickname for her causes Arizona's heart to clench. Her inability to open up to Callie had eventually spelt the end of their marriage. Realising that Callie made the effort to track her down and bring her donuts makes Arizona half-heartedly believe that her return to Seattle may not be futile. Taking a deep breath, Arizona attempts to open up.

'As each year passes, everyone tells me that it's going to be easier and I'll be able to cope. That today will become like any other day. And I won't be able to distinguish it from the yesterday or tomorrow. But then the day arrives and knocks me for a six. Each year I convince myself that I'm ok and then suddenly I'm not' Arizona voice drains out as she picks up another cigarette, lights it and brings it to her lips. 'I can remember the conservation I had with my father word for word in my head. I can still hear his silence as he's unable to utter those two words. But I understood loud and clear. Nothing was ever the same after that.' Arizona says in a small voice. 'But yeah, I'm ok.' Arizona's mind drifts as dark memories move to the forefront of her conscious as she takes a deep drag on the cigarette.

XXXX

_Somehow, Callie and Arizona had managed to get their shifts to synch this week meaning that barring emergency surgeries, they would start and finish work at the same time. With such a rare occurrence, the two women had soaked up the additional time they could spend together. Waking up tangled in her wife's limbs made Callie's morning. Still firmly in the honeymoon stage ten months after their wedding, both women were insatiable when it came to each other. Slipping out of bed, Callie heads to the kitchen to make breakfast as they definitely worked up an appetite last night. Humming to herself, Callie makes Arizona's favourite pancakes and stacks them on a plate. Before she has the opportunity to take the food into the bedroom, Callie feels a set of arms entwine her waist as a light kiss is placed on her bare shoulder. The slightest touch from Arizona causes Callie's breath to hitch in her throat and her heart rate to spike. _

'_Mmmmm, my favourite. What could I possibility done to deserve this?' Arizona says with a grin on her face. Placing a second kiss on Callie's shoulder, Arizona turns Callie around and leans up for her morning kiss as she traps Callie against the bench. Looking at the tousled bed hair of Arizona, standing there in one of her long t-shirts, Callie can't help but stare at the sight before her. 'Cat got your tongue? Because I can think of some better uses for it.' Arizona says with a smirk, running her hands up and down Callie's arms to draw her attention. _

_Shaking herself out of her stupor, Callie replies, 'Oh really, different uses hey? So I take it you don't want the pancakes that I slaved away to make for my wife?' _

'_Oh your wife, tell me all about her?'_

'_She's hot, awesome and did I mention hot so she deserves the breakfast I made for her.' In a sly tone Callie adds in an attempt to get a rise out of Arizona, 'You had better go, she's going to be home soon'. _

'_Hey' Arizona exclaims, lightly slapping Callie's arm as a pout develops on her face. _

_Snaking her arms around Arizona's waist, Callie responds 'Hey, put that pout away woman. You know you are the only one for me' causing Arizona to break out into a smile as she takes the plate off the bench._

'_But for that I'm eating all the pancakes.'_

_XXXX_

_A light kiss as they enter the hospital, the women promise to try and meet up for lunch. Rounds, surgeries and consults mean the hours pass and neither woman has the time to take a break. Scrubbing out of a neuro surgery, Arizona chats away with the attending, asking about the post-operative care the patient requires. Feeling her phone vibrate from her lab coat pocket, Arizona exits the room, indicating to the attending that she needs to take the call. Expecting the call to be from Callie, Arizona is surprised when she sees her father's name flash across the screen. _

'_Hey Dad, to what do I owe this pleasure?' Arizona asks as she juggles the phone from one hand to the other as she puts her lab coat back on. Finding the corridor deserted, she hops up on a spare bed lining the corridor wall. Hearing her father breathe deeply, as if to compose himself causes a sense of dread to settle over Arizona. The silence stretches between them and full blown panic begins to take hold of Arizona. 'Dad, what's wrong?' _

'_Arizona, its Timothy' Colonel Robbins says in a quiet voice. Arizona's breath gets caught in her throat as she immediately fears the worse. As the silence stretches between father and daughter, Arizona understands what her father is implying but is unable to say out loud._

'_No Dad, please tell…' Arizona's voice trails. When Tim enlisted in the Marine Corp at eighteen, Arizona and the rest of the family had been immensely proud. But each time he left to service overseas, a piece of Arizona's heart went with him. Siblings grow apart as they age. They live separate lives. But not Arizona and Timothy. Their upbringing as military brats and the two year age difference meant that the siblings had the closet of bonds. Tim was the first person Arizona came out to. When she had admitted to him she was gay she had feared that he would treat her differently. But when he'd pulled her into a bear hug, all her fears had been chased away. Tim was the person Arizona called when she was a nervous wreck as she prepared to propose to Callie. The fears that they were too young, too inexperienced swirled in her mind as she played with the engagement ring in her hand. But again, the calming words from her older brother had just cemented what Arizona knew all along – Callie was the one. And Tim was the one standing at Arizona's side when she married Callie. Standing there in his dress blues, he'd whispered to Arizona 'She's amazing Arizona, and hot', when Callie had entered the chapel, his trademark grin showing his dimples on his face. Arizona can't even imagine her life without her brother as he played such an integral part in who she is. _

'_I'm sorry Arizona' her father continues, his voice remaining stoic in attempt to reign in his emotions. Arizona can hear the hitch in her father's voice as he speaks showing his true emotions. Taking a deep breath Colonel Robbin's continues, 'His body will be flown into Bethesda in a few days. And we'll be there to meet it.' Arizona is unable to comprehend that her brother is dead and remains silent on the line. Her brother, her protector, her best friend is dead. Her nightmare has come true. 'I'll speak to you again soon' her father says as he cuts the connection between the two, unable to cope with continuing to talk to his now, only child. Hearing the disconnected tone through the phone, Arizona lays the phone on her lap. A sense of numbness seeps through Arizona's mind as she attempts to contemplate a life without her brother. _

_As a child, Arizona had always suffered from terrible nightmares causing her to wake up in a cold sweat disorientated and distraught. The topic of the nightmares had always remained the same, a loved one had died leaving Arizona behind. In her adult life, the nightmares continued, less frequent but no less heart wrenching. Working as a surgeon, Arizona was exposed to death on a regular basis meaning the nightmares returned with a vengeance. When Tim was overseas, the nightmares focussed on his death often causing Arizona to wake up, grasping for Callie lying next to her. And the dream always played out the same, with Arizona standing next to her father, waiting in an airport hangar for the military to unload her brother's body. Fabrications of her mind had become Arizona's reality. _

'_Hey there you are' Arizona turns to see her wife walking towards her. Kissing her on the cheek, Callie joins her on the bed, 'I called you but it went straight to voicemail. So I figured you must still be in surgery. Did you just get out or something? Because I was hoping you have a spare couple of minutes to spend with your gorgeous wife?' Callie asks. Finally noticing her wife's silence and blank face 'Arizona is everything ok?' Callie questions in a concerned voice as she gently strokes Arizona's face. Pulling Arizona to her chest, Callie asks 'Did something happen in the operation?' Mutely shaking her head at Callie's question, Arizona struggles to articulate the words she needs to say. Trying to speak, Arizona focusses on the Callie hand movements on her back, attempting to pull herself out of the dark place she found herself sinking into. _

'_It's Tim' Arizona finally replies in a small voice as she turns her head into Callie's chest as small sobs reverberate down the empty hallway._

'_Ari, what about him?' Callie says as she attempts to get Arizona to talk to her. The silence stretches between the two women as Callie attempts to calm her distraught wife. _

'_He's dead' Arizona stutters out between sobs. Finally admitting the truth opens the floodgates and Arizona is inconsolable as she barely registers Callie's presence at her side. _

'_Oh Ari' Callie says as she pulls Arizona tighter to her, wishing she could take the pain away. In all the years Callie has known Arizona, she has never seen Arizona in such a state. It breaks Callie's heart to see her wife like this. As the minutes pass, Callie realises that neither woman is in the condition to work and they can't stay in this corridor outside the OR. Helping Arizona to stand, Callie tells her to wait for her at their car as she organises their leave so they can travel back to Washington for the funeral. As Callie drives them back to their apartment, she keeps glancing at Arizona as Callie feels out of depth. The honeymoon stage of their marriage has come to a crashing halt. _

_Reaching the apartment, Arizona allows Callie to lead her into their bedroom. Twenty-four hours ago, Arizona had been fooling around with her wife, and now she can't imagine ever being happy again. Callie gently strips off Arizona's scrubs and changes her into a pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt. The tears silently falls from Arizona's eyes and streak down her cheeks. Slumping down on the bed, Arizona quietly asks Callie 'Hold me?'_

'_Always' Callie replies as she lies next to Arizona, spooning her from behind. Pulling Arizona close, Callie can feel her shaking as the tears fall. Holding Arizona close, Callie wishes things could be different. _

XXXX

Thinking about her brother's death causes Arizona to choke up as she attempts to hold in the sob that's fighting to escape. Pushing the memory to the back of her mind, a single tear streaks down Arizona's cheek. Wiping the tear away, Arizona hides her face in her raised knees as she tries to compose herself. Arizona is thankful Callie is with her. Its strangely comforting to be in the presence of Callie again after all these years. Callie noticing the change in Arizona's demeanour, lays a comforting arm around Arizona's shoulder. Briefly flinching at Callie's touch, Arizona relaxes when realising this is Callie's attempt at comforting her without invading her personal space, both physically and emotionally. Pushing aside their personal problems, the two women sit side by side as they reminisce about the life that was lost too soon.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thankyou for all the reviews, PM 's and alerts. And a special thanks to Janice for being an invaluable sounding board. And we are finally getting down to the nuts and bolts of the separation. Hopefully I did it justice and it lives up to expectations. As always feedback is appreciated.

A resignation had befallen Callie since the time she had spent with Arizona on the roof. She was no closer to understanding the blonde's presence in Seattle and the distance between them was unbridgeable. However, the distance did give Callie time to sort through her feelings for Arizona. When Arizona had initially re-entered her life, Callie had been blinded by rage and couldn't fathom ever calming down and truly listen to whatever Arizona had to say. But over the past few weeks, the sense of betrayal and anger had lessened and old feelings had begun re-surfaced. Callie wasn't prepared to admit, even to herself, that she still held romantic feelings towards Arizona. However, she had admitted that she, if given the chance, could fall in love with Arizona again. She had always been Callie's kryptonite, even back in their college days when badass Torres had been tamed by the straight-A student, Arizona Robbins. Everyone had expected the relationship to crash and burn – but they were wrong. Both women clicked on so many levels that it soon became clear that these two women were in it for the U-haul. Before Arizona had returned, Callie could only remember the bad times; the bickering, the fights and then the deafening silence. She had honestly believed that she was better off without Arizona in her life. But now, Callie could also recall the happy periods that the two women had shared – which far outweighed the bad times which had only marred the end of their relationship. Something in their relationship would eventually have to give, as Callie felt she could not remain in this limbo forever.

It was inevitable that the women would eventually have to work a case together. Being paged 911 to the pit, Callie hurries down the flight of stairs. Juggling a coffee cup, Callie gulps down the hot liquid hoping for a pick-me-up. Countless restless nights in the past weeks had started to take its toil and Callie's coffee consumption had sky-rocketed. Reaching the pit, Callie's directed towards one of the trauma rooms and told that an ortho consult is required. Opening the door and slipping through, Callie sees a small child lying on the table. Noticing the other surgeon in the room, Callie's eyes widen in shock. Arizona stares back at Callie as she tries to compose herself and maintains a professional decorum.

'Harper Brooks aged 4. Unrestrained back seat passaged in a car accident. Suspected fractured femur and rigidness in the abdomen indicating internal bleeding. We're about to move her up to the CAT scan to get a better look of what we are up against' Arizona says as she catches Callie up on the case. The steadiness of Arizona's voice hides the nerves she feels at begin in such close proximity to her ex-wife. Callie had been avoiding her since the she'd sought Arizona out on the roof. But Arizona would often spot her in the gallery as she performed surgery. Arizona, not wanting to push Callie, left her alone to sort out her thoughts. Looking upon the child with her brilliant blue eyes and dirty blonde hair causes Callie's breath to hitch. Although not sharing a close physical resemblance to Arizona, it's enough to put Callie further on edge. It was the one issue that Callie couldn't drop, forget or live with – the lack of a child in their marriage.

Silence falls between the two surgeons as they move the child for her scans both struggling to put their overactive minds to bed. Passing through the hospital corridors, all conversation falls silent as they move past making the situation even more awkward. Everyone in the hospital knew what Arizona was to Callie with many gleefully anticipating a public argument between the two women. They figured that there was a certainty that the fiery Latina would eventually lose her cool.

While scanning the child, a small crowd of nurses and interns attempt to remain inconspicuous in the hospital corridor outside. Callie subtly observes the people outside while their presence doesn't seem to bother Arizona. Over the past weeks, Arizona had become acclimatised to the staring, the pointed looks and rumours and has developed a thicker skin and turns a blind eye to their presence. Callie now realises that she should have addressed the gossip issue sooner as it has clearly snowballed into a gigantic mess. Before Callie can even contemplate a solution, a loud voice rings out through the hallway.

'And what are you people doing here? Don't you have lives to save?' Bailey accuses the crowd standing before her. Bailey understands why the crowd has gathered and feels disgusted that these professionals could be so insensitive to people's private life. As Bailey with hand on hips and a stony expression blocks the hallway, the nosy colleagues have no choice but to stand there and wait for Bailey to berate them. They all know it's coming and they pray they come out of the experience unscathed. 'You people are rude, inconsiderate and selfish. I wouldn't leave anyone that I care about in your hands. You have not respect for yourself or your colleagues and are a disgrace for the health care profession.' Directing the next part of her rant at the nurses, Bailey continues 'If I catch any of you on the Ped's floor for no apparent reason, I will make your lives hell. If I so much as suspect that you are spreading fact less rumours, you will wish you had never been born. I will make sure that you spend the next couple of months cleaning out bed pans and other tasks that I see fit. And you will rue the day you messed with me. Do I make myself clear?' Bailey yells as the nurses mutely nod their heads and scurry off. Turning to the interns standing there and they attempt to not meet Bailey's glare 'The same holds true for the interns and you three are on scut for the next three months. And tell all your petty friends as well that if I so much as catch them breathing too loud, they'll not see the inside of an OR for the next several years!' Bailey lets the anger drain out of her as she watches the interns run away. Bailey runs a tight ship when it comes to the interns and it feels good to put them back in line. Ruefully thinking to herself, Bailey lets out a small smirk remember out good it feels to yell at someone deservingly.

Entering the room where Arizona and Callie are sitting, both women can't help but stare at Bailey in shock. Bailey doesn't usually interfere in the private lives but she had decided that enough was enough. The only person who had the right to judge Arizona was Callie – and she was doing enough of that without the rest of the hospital jumping on the bandwagon. Observing the scan that has just come up, Bailey coughs lightly, drawing the other two back to the task at head. Seeing the signs of internal bleeding, Arizona grabs the phone sitting on the table telling the OR to prepare for surgery. As Arizona leaves the room to prep for the surgery, Callie and Bailey remain seated.

'I don't usually interfere in people's personal life. Because what they do in their own time is their own business – and I honestly don't care. But Arizona is a good person and even you can admit to that. And you dragged your personal life to work which is not acceptable, and you know that. But this mess is on you. It wasn't my problem to fix, it was yours.' Bailey says as she chastises Callie for her inaction.

Callie has the grace to look sheepish as she listens to Bailey point out her shortcomings. 'Sorry' Callie replies.

'I'm not the one that deserves an apology.' As Callie takes in Bailey's words, she realises her childish actions have exacerbated the problem. Arizona had always prided herself on her professionalism and care but this had been compromised by Arizona's now tarnished reputation. 'Well you had better go down to the OR for that surgery' Bailey adds as she leaves Callie alone with her thoughts.

During the surgery, the only words uttered between the two women had been for equipment and updates on the patient's status. Bailey's threats had already made rounds through the hospital, and the usual chatter that filled the OR was gone. The nurses had clearly taken Bailey's threats seriously and knew not to mess with her. The surgery was a success, Callie set the child's leg while Arizona dealt with the internal bleeding. They made a good team as they could anticipate each other's movements, even after all these years. As Callie waited for Arizona to close up, she decides that it's time to really talk to Arizona. This dancing around the issue had gone on long enough. Callie knew that this fight would get messy, accusations would be made, but if either woman was to get closure, this needed to happen. All the dirty laundry needed to be aired.

Scrubbing out of the surgery, the two women stand side by side, 'So that was fun', Callie comments as she tries to break the silence between the two of them. Arizona doesn't take the bite and continues to remain silent, her thoughts elsewhere. Finally it's time to just bite the bullet, 'We need to talk' Callie says as she steps closer to Arizona, lightly touching her on the shoulder to garner her attention.

Arizona raises an eyebrow at Callie's comment, as she hadn't expected Callie to suddenly cave. Looking at their surroundings Arizona questions, 'Really Calliope, we're going to do this now?' a hint of resignation in her in her tone as she has a sneaking suspicion that this is not going to go well. Seeing the look of determination in Callie's eyes, Arizona knows that this discussion will happen if she likes it or not. 'Look, can we at least not do it here. I prefer if I could keep at least something in my personal life private' Arizona continues making reference to the vicious rumours going around the hospital. Callie realising that the two women are still standing in the scrub room understands Arizona's concern.

'Ah we can go to my apartment, Yang's working tonight.' Callie says, not thinking that she's just invited her ex-wife over to apartment. But upon seeing the shocked look on Arizona's face, she understands that her suggestion may not have been the best. However, as the alternative is the hotel room that Arizona has been living in, she agrees with a nod of her head. 'It's just across the street so I'll wait for you in the lobby.'

Once both women have changed, they meet in the lobby and head across to Callie's apartment. Entering the apartment, Arizona can't help but glance around at Callie's apartment. The décor screams Callie with its darker colour and stainless steel appliances. When Arizona and Callie had moved in all those years ago, Arizona had to flash her dimples on numerous occasions to get Callie to tone down the gloomy, as Arizona claimed she didn't want to live in a batcave. 'Do you want something to drink' Callie asks, suddenly feeling awkward as she looks at Arizona examining her apartment. When they had tied the knot, Callie had never thought that she and Arizona would end up like strangers who have no idea what to say to each other. Arizona shakes her head in response to Callie's question and she continues to look around the apartment as something isn't quite right. And then it hits her, the personal touches, the photos, the trinkets are missing. The apartment feels like something out of a catalogue as there is no evidence of who actually lives there. This was a direct contrast to their old apartment which had been tastefully littered with snapshots of their lives.

Turning to Callie, Arizona waits for her to speak. Callie asked her here to talk, so Arizona assumes that there must be something specific on her mind. The silence stretches between them. 'What are you really doing here Arizona?' Callie finally asks as she takes a seat on the couch, gesturing for Arizona to do the same. Selecting an armchair, Arizona puts some distance between them as she's unsure how to answer this question. Arizona knows that she came to Seattle because she's still in love with Callie. But if she just sprouted off some romantic crap, Arizona knows it will be thrown back in her face.

'I didn't get closure' is the response Arizona goes with. 'Although the job was a genuine offer, and in some respects, this was a career orientated move. I need closure with you. I can't move on with my life because I never really understood. I need you to look in my eyes and tell me that you don't love me, that you feel nothing for me. I need to know why you walked away.'

'We wanted different things' Callie says as she leans back into the couch. And both women think back to the moment when this statement became true and continued the downward spiral of their marriage.

XXXX

_In the months since Tim's death, their marriage had changed dramatically. In the days following his death, Arizona had been inconsolable moving between crying bouts, restless sleep and nightmares. Callie had made every attempt console her wife, but nothing improved that could stop the pain. Upon reaching Washington, Arizona had shut down. Putting up a façade for her parents, Arizona became the rock of support. Barbara Robbins looked like she had aged a decade since the news came through. Her cheerful persona, similar to that of Arizona's, was gone. Replaced was a shell of her former self as Barbara Robbins mourned the loss of her eldest child. Colonel Robbins fared no better as the demons of self-doubt reared its ugly head. The Colonel blamed himself for his son's death with the perpetual 'what if' argument raged in his head. Both Callie and Arizona had attempted to comfort their parents but everyone knew that it was a futile effort. Standing next to her father in the airplane hangar, Arizona watched them unload her brother's body in a coffin. As they handed her the flag that had adorned his coffin, her world came crashing down._

_Once the couple had returned from Washington, Arizona had internalised all her feeling and emotions. She simply shut down and only her eyes showed the depth of the pain she was suffering. Gone were the days when the women would seek each other out at work for an impromptu make-out session. Arizona had shut down and tried to escape the pain by throwing herself into her work. Arizona would take additional shifts at the hospital in an attempt to exhaust herself so she fell asleep at night. Callie did her best to give Arizona the space she needed to work through her pain and when needed, show that she was there for Arizona. Callie had begun to feel that the couple were slowly returning back to a sense of normality and working themselves out of the rut they had fallen in. The old saying that time all heals all wounds seems to have held true for the couple._

_As Arizona had thrown herself at her work, the time the two women spent with each other had severally diminished. Callie couldn't fault Arizona's but Callie's breaking point had been crossed. Arizona's shift had ended at 5 but it was now 7 and Callie continued to stare at the silent phone in her lap. No missed call, no voicemail and no text from Arizona had put Callie more on edge. Callie had already called the hospital to see if Arizona was caught in the surgery but it turned out, the receptionist thought she'd already left. Arizona was AWOL._

_Finally slipping through the door at 9 o'clock, a mere six hours after her shift end, Arizona throws her keys on the table. She attempts to be as quiet as possible, not wanting to disturb Callie. Turning her eyes towards the shut bedroom, she glances past the couch and sees Callie glaring back at her._

_Immediately going on the attack, 'So, I got an interesting call today. Turns out someone cancelled our fertility consultation next week and decided not to tell me. So, is there something you need to tell me or was I going to show up for a non-existent consultant. ' Too tired to argue with Callie tonight, Arizona slumps down at the breakfast bar, putting some distance between herself and the incensed Latina._

_'Yeah, I was going to tell you but my surgery ran late.' Arizona replies, hoping she can stop the argument before it starts. Arizona's answers rile Callie's further as she listens to the blatant lie fall from his wife's lips._

_'Surgery? God damn it Arizona, I called the hospital and your last surgery finished at 4.30. Where the hell have you been? But we'll get to that later. Why'd you cancel the appointment?' The enraged Latina approaches her wife and stands before her, daring Arizona to lie to her face again._

_'Look Calliope, I'm tired. Can we talk about this later?' Arizona replies as she slips past her wife and heads towards the bedroom, indicating that the conversation is over._

_'No, Arizona we are going to talk about this now. There's no surgery to rush off to, no consult. Just you and me.' Callie replies as she stalks after her wife, indicating that if Arizona enters the bedroom, the fight will escalate further. Hearing the tone in her wife's voice, Arizona turns back around and slumps on the now empty couch. She recognises the tone in Callie's voice, the tone that tells Arizona that she is in for a long night. This is not going to end well._

_'There's nothing to talk about. I just, I can't' Arizona says as she hides her head in her hands as the emotional pain she's been under bubbles to the surface. She had known when she had made the call to cancel the appointment that this would blow up in her face. Arizona had been desperately hoping that she would have a couple of days to collect her thoughts. Clearly that has been wishful thinking as the facility had called Callie. Once Arizona had proposed to Callie, the two women had planned out their future. Callie's future had been meticulously planned, the children, the house, the life. And Callie's dream had become Arizona's. But since her brother's death, Arizona had done a lot of thinking. Too much if you asked Callie but the dream had become a nightmare. The nightmare that Arizona dreamed about had shifted to the family that her and Callie had planned to have. Having watched her parents fall apart, Arizona dreamt about the death of her own child, a child that was a splitting image of Callie. A child with Callie's eyes, dead in her arms as Arizona does the best to save her. As a surgeon, she should be able to save a life. Those lifeless eyes are all Arizona sees. The nightmare would continue on a permanent reel in Arizona's mind. Arizona was unsure whether in time, she could have a child. But it was wrong to give Callie false hope. Arizona attempts to explain herself to Callie as she says 'I know that we had this planned, but dreams change. I can't go through that.'_

_'Dreams? What are you talking about Arizona?' Callie asks in a confused voice. 'All I want to know is why you cancelled the appointment. Did it clash with something?' Arizona's distressed appearance wasn't the response that Callie had been expecting._

_'I don't want one Calliope. I don't want a child' Reading the distraught look on Arizona's face, Callie sits down next to her, pulling her close. Callie knew that these past months had been difficult on Arizona and didn't want to push the kid issue any further. They could easily postpone their plans for months, nothing was set in stone._

_'Hey, its ok. I'm sorry I pushed you. We'll postpone the appointment for a couple of months. Shhh, please Ari I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you like this.' Callie suddenly felt guilty about attacking Arizona. Although still confused about what had bought this on, Callie wanted her Arizona back. Rubbing a comforting motion on Arizona's back, Callie feels her breathing rate calm down._

_'No Calliope, you don't understand. I don't want a child ever' Arizona replies as she meets Callie's eyes. A look of horror develops over Callie's face as she takes in what Arizona has just uttered as her dreams come crashing down around her. Arizona would not make rash statements such as this if she hadn't thought it through. Arizona would have analysed all the opinions and not made this decision easily. But if Arizona has voiced this opinion, than Callie has little chance of convincing her otherwise._

_'What?' Callie whispers out as she leans out of her wife's embrace, placing distance between them. 'But we talked about this Arizona, we wanted kids, both of us. We had a plan'_

_'Not any more Calliope' Arizona replies in a firm voice. 'Dreams change, plans change and this one has ended.' Arizona replies in a resigned voice. Callie immediately makes the connection between this and the death of Timothy._

_'Look I know that Tim's death has hit us all hard. But this was our dream.' Callie says placing an emphasis on the fact that children had become both women's dream as she takes Arizona's hand. Callie feverishly hopes that Arizona reneges on her statement._

_'I saw what the loss of a child did to my parents. My mother's not there anymore. She exists but she doesn't live anymore. Maybe over time, she'll return to some sort of normality but her life as she knows it is over. And my father blames himself for Tim's death. He walks around with the blame on his shoulders, he's no longer the proud man that he once was. If this happened to me, I would blame myself. I would live in constant fear. Everything has changed Calliope and you seriously want to talk about having children. And I can't go through that.'_

_'But the chances of a child dying are minimal' Callie reasons as she attempts to come up with a logical reason to tear down Arizona's argument. 'This is so illogical Arizona, are you even listening to yourself?.' Ending in a shout, Callie's hands clench in anger._

_'No!' Arizona replies stopping Callie from her argument. Speaking slowly to get her point across, she says 'There will be no child.'_

_'It doesn't make any sense. Everyone wants kids and you of all people, I don't get it! You can't make this monumental decision without me. I'm your wife!' Callie screams at Arizona because of her indifference to Callie's opinion. Callie feels as if this argument is spiralling out of control. When she'd found out that Arizona had cancelled that appointment, Callie had never dreamed that this could be the reason. Callie had wanted children for her entire life. Growing up in a large family, she had always surrounded by smaller children. For Callie, it was abnormal not to have children._

_'Are you happy?' Arizona questions her as she takes Callie's hand, hoping that the physical contact will calm Callie down._

_'No I'm not happy' Callie sarcastically replies and Arizona's question._

_'No, what I meant is, are you happy being married to me?' Arizona continue as she forces Callie to look at her as she puts her hand on Callie's check._

_'What?, of course I am Arizona' Callie exclaims, surprised by Arizona's line of questioning. Being Arizona's wife was the joy of Callie's life._

_'Then you don't need a child to be happy. If you are happy now, then nothing needs to change. Please, can we just let it go for now' Arizona implores, trying to at least to drop the issue for tonight._

_'But I don't know where we are going!' Callie shouts, her face flushed with anger. When she had confronted Arizona about cancelling the appointment, Callie had never expected that would be fighting about their future. 'We are having a child!' Callie screams._

_'You can't make a child without me!' Arizona retorts as she enters the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. The conversation was over._

XXXX

'You changed the game.' Callie mutters as she pulls herself out of her memories. The sorest spot, the rawest wound for Callie was the child issue. Arizona's face clouds over as she realises where Callie's mind had gone. Arizona knew that this topic would come up, but she wanted to stop having this circular argument with no solution. After Arizona had declared that she no longer desired to have children with Callie, their marriage had spiralled out of control. Both women had been too stubborn to realise what was happening as they were too caught up in their own pain. Callie felt betrayed by Arizona's refusal to discuss the issue. Every time the issue was bought up an argument would preceded which usually ended with someone storming out of the apartment. Doors slamming, insults, digs were hurled around the apartment until someone snapped. Arizona felt that Callie was trying to force them to have a child to save their marriage when both women were still reeling from the death of Tim. Arizona knew that a child wouldn't save them now. Callie couldn't let the issue rest and continued to pick as Arizona, hoping that persistence would prevail. Letting out an exasperated sigh, Arizona hopes she can stave of this argument until she gets the answers she needs from Callie.

'Calliope, please. Can we just leave this problem? We're not together so this is a nonissue. But I need to know where I stand with you. You're all hot and cold. Half the time you are ignoring me, treating me like crap and letting your colleagues do the same. I've been accused of infidelity, abuse, killing a patient just to name a few. And you have nothing to address this. But then on the other hand, you stare at me, you watch me do surgeries and you comfort me. So I don't understand. What do I mean to you?' As Callie listens to Arizona speaks, she can't believe that Arizona has dismissed her again.

'No I will not drop this fricken' issue, you changed the game. We had talked about children before we got engaged, we'll we were engaged and when we got married. We had even made appointments to start the ball rolling. And suddenly YOU turned around and told me that we were never going to have children. No discussion, the decision was made by you.' As Callie yells at Arizona, she had begun pacing at the foot of Arizona's armchair.

Deciding that attack is the best form of defence, Arizona joins Callie, 'My brother died Calliope. I watched my parents fall apart and you wanted a fricken' kid. It's all you saw, a child that was a figment of your imagination. And when I said that I didn't want one, you acted as if I was doing this to spite you. That the I was out to screw up your life!'

'Are you serious?' Callie asks, anger lacing her voice. 'You turned your back on our dream!'

'No Calliope, my dream was to spend the rest of my life with you. I didn't need a child, to be happy, I just needed you.' Arizona implores Callie to take a step back and look at the situation. The look of sheer determination on Callie's face shows that nothing is getting through Callie's head. 'Ok, ok' Arizona concedes as she attempts to make progress in their relationship. 'I handled the kid thing badly and that's on me. But you need to accept that some things in the failure of our marriage were your fault.' As Arizona utters those words, a look of scepticism develops on her face. 'You left Calliope, you packed your bags and walked out of your marriage. No one else made you do that.'

'I left because I was sick of being ignored. I was sick of being your excuse. I explicitly told you that when you were ready to save our marriage you should come to Miami. To make a conscious effort in our marriage to save it. Because at least in Miami I knew that you wouldn't fake a page, fall asleep during an argument and amongst the countless other things you did. So don't you dare come here and tell me that this is on me. The least you could have done was fight for our marriage.' Callie accuses. A look of shock develops on Arizona's face as she listens to Callie's accusations.

'But I did go to Miami, but I was sent back to New York and within days of coming home, you served me divorce papers' Arizona replies as confusion spreads throughout the room.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry for the deal. Life caught up on me and I had no time. Thanks for all the reviews and alerts from the last chapter. This chapter links all that happened before to the next set of chapters. So not a whole heap happens – so sorry for that. It's also not the most cheerful chapter.

XXXX

Once Arizona had uttered that she had chased after Callie to Miami, confusion settled over the apartment. Both women glance warily at each other as they wait for the dam to break. The room remains silent as both women take in this startling revelation. When Callie had walked out on Arizona, her parting words had been for Arizona to make an effort in their marriage. Callie had hurled this parting jab at Arizona as Callie slammed the door behind her. By Arizona's absence in Miami, Callie had believed that Arizona didn't want to save their marriage – the ultimate betrayal in Callie's eyes. Callie's anger had consumed her and in a fit of rage, she had filed for divorce. 'You went to Miami?' Callie finally manages to stutters out, her eyes wide in shock.

Mutely nodding her head in response to Callie's question, Arizona's mind is whirling at the implications. For Arizona, the news was just as astonishing. For all these years, Arizona had assumed that Callie had reneged on her parting statement that Arizona had to fly to Miami to fix their marriage. That the marriage had in fact been over once Callie had left. When Arizona had flown back to New York after her failed trip to Miami, Arizona had assumed that Callie would follow soon after. Arizona expected that Callie's family couldn't and wouldn't keep quiet about what had transpired down there. But instead Arizona got a knock on their apartment door and when opened, she was simply handed an envelope. As she had stared at the envelope in her hands, Arizona knew what it contained from the logo in the top right hand corner. Slumping on the couch, Arizona had sat with the envelope on her lap for hours. She didn't have the strength to open it. As the tears fell from her bloodshot eyes causing the ink to run, self-loathing coursed through her veins as she sunk into a deep depression. Maybe she could have handled the children issue better, or even just pretended to be ok. Anything to have Callie at her side. After being served the papers, Arizona had been unable to contact Callie. The silence from Callie was crystal clear – their marriage was over.

'When did you go to Miami?' Callie continues as she tries to do the maths in her head. Between the leaving and filing for divorce, Callie had only given Arizona three weeks. In Callie's eyes, she had given Arizona three weeks to pull her head out of her arse and relight the fire in their marriage. At Callie's questions, it's clear that she had been unaware that Arizona had made the trip south.

'About two weeks after you left' Arizona replies, the calmness in her voice concealing her nerves . She hadn't immediately followed after Callie as she needed time to collect her emotions. Arizona had figured it would do no good for either for them for her to show up as an inconsolable mess that Callie had walked out on. The silence in her life was deafening as every night she would come home to the empty apartment. Arizona was left with no one.

'Why didn't you tell me that!' Callie exclaims in anger. 'I told you to come to Miami to fix our marriage. To make an effort and prove that you loved me! Not go to Miami for a holiday and then fly home.' Breathing heavily, Callie glares at Arizona, blaming her for getting them into this mess.

'I couldn't stay in Miami. I know where I'm not welcome! So don't you dare turn this around and make this my fault. You went there because you wanted someone to stroke your ego and side with you. To confirm what you already believed, that I was a big, bad person who stomped all over poor Calliope's dreams.' Arizona accuses, sarcasm leaking into the tone of her voice . Taking a deep breath, Arizona tries to reign in her emotions. Another shouting match between the two of them will not solve anything. Continuing in a calmer voice, Arizona adds 'And I tried to contact you but you never answered any of my calls. So how was I supposed to tell you what happened. You erased me from your life as if I was some bad memory you wanted to hide from.'

With Arizona's pointed response, a series of events fall into place. The conversations with her family and those pointed looks that she had received in Miami. It all made sense to her and her anger shifts off Arizona. Callie was furious that her family would interfere in her marriage. Her family had some explaining to do. Grapping her keys from the side table, Callie makes moves to leave the apartment, completely ignoring Arizona. At the moment, Callie has tunnel vision as she focusses on what her family has done. So caught up in her own emotions, Callie has forgotten Arizona. The blood drains from Arizona's face as she sees Callie's movements as its reminiscent of her actions all those years ago.

'Where are you going?' Arizona manages to stutter out, as panic begins to take over her body. Arizona had thought that this bit of information was the breakthrough that she needed. Callie was as stubborn as the best of them, and sometimes she just needed a nudge to see the light. Arizona had been feverishly hoping that Callie would relent, and they could have a serious conversation about where they stood. As Callie listens to Arizona, a wave of guilt consumes her as she looks upon her ex-wife. All these years, Callie had believed that Arizona was the sole reason for the breakdown in their marriage. This was a misguided assumption. Unable to explain herself, Callie walks out of the apartment, desperate to get the answers she needs. To an empty apartment Arizona whispers 'Please don't leave me.'

XXXX

_Since Arizona had told Callie that she no longer desired to have children, their marriage had deteriorated to the stage of non-existent. Callie's stubbornness to listen, to understand or to bend resulted in countless arguments. At every opportunity, Callie would raise the issue, irrelevant of where the two women were. Callie attempted to manipulate, prod and coerce Arizona into changing her mind. Callie was firm in the belief that their marriage wouldn't last if they didn't have a child. Callie believed that a child would save their marriage and had made it clear to Arizona that the bickering could all end if Arizona relented. Callie's stance was clear, they were having a child and they were going to do this now. _

_Initially, Arizona had tried to explain her point of view as she would plead with Callie to give her more time. Arizona could see that her decision appeared brash and rushed in response to her brother's death. The loss of her brother had scarred Arizona and the effect on her parents had shaken her very foundations. All her life, her parents had been her rock. Being a marine brat, she had been continuously uprooted and her family was the only constant. But that was all gone. Arizona's weekly phone calls to her parents had become filled with silence as each member of the family fought their own personal demons Over the past months, the phone calls had become less frequent as each call would inadvertently drag up the painful past. Arizona had not only lost her brother, but her parents were slipping away from her as well. _

_Arizona could not even contemplate planning to have a child now, let alone have one. No one brings a child into a family that is falling apart on the inside. Arizona had admitted to herself and Callie, that in years to come, she may change her ideas on children. But this had done nothing to appease Callie but had angered her further. In Callie's eyes, Arizona had turned her back on their life together. _

_As the days and weeks past, Callie had gone from sympathetic to manic on Arizona's stance. Callie refused to bend on the topic but continued to go on the attack. Callie's dream was so ingrained in who she thought she was that Callie couldn't step back and see what was happening. Callie had even gone as far to re-make the fertility appointment, giving Arizona the ultimatum of 'be there or else'. As Callie sat in the fertility clinic, her anger towards Arizona increased ten-fold. Callie couldn't see that she was being pig-headed and insensitive on the issue. The 'or else' that Arizona had been threatened with turned out to being kicked out of the martial bed. By the time Arizona had returned home from her shift, the couch had been made up and Callie's intentions were perfectly clear. The argument that night had been worse than any previous one as Callie systematically destroyed Arizona's confidence as a women and a wife. The words 'Maybe there is something wrong with you? Because it's not natural, it's not womanly. Are you cold, heartless and dead inside?' still rung in her head. As the words had been hurled at her, the pain the reverberated from her chest had left her breathless. Slamming the bedroom door behind her, Callie had sealed their fate without even knowing it. _

_And the nightmares continued to plague Arizona's sleep leaving her looking like the living dead with her lacklustre appearance and dark bags under her eyes. If Callie knew about the nightmares, she turned a blind eye, keeping the walls she had built to keep her wife out intact. Every night, without fail, Arizona would wake up in a cold sweat dreaming of the death of a loved one. As a coping mechanism, Arizona had thrown herself into work to an even greater degree. Anything to avoid coming home to a couch and a closed bedroom door. Every attempt Arizona made to converse with Callie was met with a hostile glare and even harsher words. Arizona kept her heart shielded, to minimise the pain. Arizona had hoped that that Callie would come to her senses, but that seemed unlikely and the argument appeared to have reached a stalemate. Something had to break. _

_As Callie played back the weeks since Arizona had destroyed their dreams, she realised that they were not closer to a solution. The two women were living in limbo as the issue continued to consume Callie's every waking moment. With Arizona still sleeping on the couch, and that only happened when she bothered to come home, Callie could now go days without catching a glimpse of her wife. Sitting on the couch surrounded by luggage, Callie has reached her breaking point. She'd left a voicemail message on Arizona's phone, telling her to come back to the apartment. If Arizona listened to her was another matter as to Callie is seemed that her opinion was irrelevant. _

_When Arizona had received the message, she had tried not to raise her hopes. After being pushed away, insulted and just plain ignored by Callie, Arizona was hoping that Callie was finally ready to have a conversation. Finally, the front door opens and Arizona enters, a hint of hope shining from her eyes. When Arizona's spots the luggage, her heart plummets to her feet. For a second, Arizona thinks that she is going to throw up her lunch as she dry retches. Running through her mind is the thought that Callie is kicking her out. Callie, hearing the door open, turns and sees her wife standing in the doorway. Arizona's eyes are filled with tears as she can't drag her eyes away from the bags. _

'_You're kicking me out?' Arizona asks in a small voice as steps into the apartment closing the door behind her. Tears fall from her eyes, not caring that Callie is seeing her this exposed. Callie was Arizona's life in every sense of the word. These past months had drained the very life from Arizona and she was a shell of her former self – shutting down to preserve whatever part of the true Arizona remained. During happier times, their fights would usually blow over in a couple of days. Even though they had never had a fight of this magnitude, Arizona had believed they could sort this out. Although feeling guilty and understanding she had handled the issue badly to begin with, Arizona had become an outsider in her own marriage. Callie's barriers were impenetrable and nothing Arizona did or said could influence Callie. _

'_No, I'm leaving' Callie replies in a steely cold voice. As Callie had been waiting on the couch, she had trained for her emotions not to show. 'I'm going to Miami , when you are ready to save our marriage, you can fly out. When you come to your senses and admit that OUR lifelong dream is not irrelevant. When you stop copping out and using your brother's death as an excuse. Dreams do not change!' As she gets the words out, Callie stands and picks up the bag at her feet. The words Callie utters have rock Arizona to the core, who's mind was scrambling to stop Callie in her tracks. _

'_No, Calliope please' Arizona implores, her hands outstretched to form a barrier between her wife and the door. The tears fall freely from her eyes, blurring her vision. Callie leaving to go to Miami wouldn't solve anything. They could easily have this conversation here, where they were on equal footing. But in Miami, Callie had the support from her family. A homophobic mother who disapproved of her daughter's lesbian lifestyle and a father who would do anything to protect his daughter. Going to Miami is a disaster in the making, that is crystal clear. Arizona continues to speak, 'Going to Miami won't fix this Calliope. Please stay with me. We'll have a child if that is what you want. Just give me more time. But please don't leave me. I need you!'_

'_Stop it!' Callie yells 'Don't make promises that you have no intention of keeping. Were we ever going to have children. Or was all this just a lie? What am I to you? Has our marriage always been a big joke? Everyone's laughing at me because thinking I could build a life with you. Because you never really wanted children or me?' Callie accuses, the pain lacing her voice. _

'_Calliope…I love you' Arizona begs, sensing that Callie is slipping through her hands. 'And you know that I love you. Please Calliope, listen to yourself, you know that what you are saying is lies.' _

_I'm leaving' Calliope says as she brushes past the grasping hands of Arizona. Callie doesn't even bother replying to Arizona's heartfelt plea as it falls on deaf ears. Arizona closes her eyes trying to erase the sight of Callie walking away from her. Her heart is lain bear and Callie stabs one final time._

'_If you truly loved me, you would concede and give me what we have always wanted! Because I'm starting to doubt if you ever felt anything for me' Callie accuses. _

'_I can't lose anyone else' Arizona begs as she shows her vulnerability. But Arizona's final plea does nothing to Callie's heartstrings. Closing the door behind her, she hears Arizona wail as Callie walks away from the apartment. As Callie approaches the elevator, the door to their apartment is thrown open, the sound reverberating down the hallway. Arizona breaks into the run as she chases after Callie, figuring that situation can't get any worse if she physically restrains her. As Arizona heads towards the elevator, she comes across the scene of a closed elevator door which has carried her wife out of her reach. Slipping to the floor, Arizona slumps against the world, the weight of the world on her shoulders. _

XXXX

As Arizona pulls herself out of the memory, she mirrors the same posturer she carried out all those years below. Slumped against an apartment wall as Callie walks away from her. Suspecting that Callie will soon be heading down to Miami, Arizona isn't sure if she had the strength to deal with Callie's family. It's become Arizona against the Torres's again and Callie may have to choose again. When Callie had come out to their family, Carlos Torres had given his daughter an ultimatum – Arizona or her family. Callie had picked Arizona and for over a year, Callie had no contact with her family. During that time, the women's relationship had gone from strength to strength. But for Callie, there had always been a slight shadow in her eyes caused by her family's silence. Eventually, Carlos Torres had accepted his daughter and Arizona's place in her life. But Lucia Torres was not so accepting. the hurtful jabs, inappropriate conversations and her exclusion of Arizona had endured. Callie had turned a blind eye, simply thankful for her family's somewhat acceptance of her lifestyle. And Arizona didn't want to come between Callie and her family again and had let the issue slide. And look how that had turned out.

Clutching at straws, Arizona prays that Callie is just blowing off steam by wandering the streets of Seattle. Arizona needs Callie to come home to her. Both for her peace of mind and there is only so many times that Arizona can survive being walked away from by the love of her life.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: This was a difficult chapter to write so I apologise for any issues people have with it. And this is the last flashback, after this everything will be in the present (well I think so anyway). Again sorry for the longish wait, but who would feel like writing angst after the awesome episode this week.

XXXX

Waking up the next morning slumped on Callie's couch, Arizona realises that Callie hasn't come back to her apartment. If it was at all possible, Arizona feels herself becoming further depressed at the situation she has now found herself in. Arizona hadn't thought the situation could get any worse. Noticing that her shift starts in thirty minutes, Arizona rushes out the door, shutting it behind her. Still resoundingly disliked in the hospital, Arizona doesn't want to get on anyone else's bad side by being late. Working at SGH reminded her of high school with the rumours, gossip and clicks which seemed to be the norm. The attendings and residents tended to ignore her, their loyalty strongly behind Callie. And the nurses preferred to gossip, although with Bailey's rant from yesterday Arizona is hoping that she will just be left alone. Entering the attending's lounge, she throws on her scrubs and heads up the Ped's floor. Collecting Bailey along the way, the two women are soon in the thick of morning rounds. With only one surgery for the day, Arizona has a slow day which sadly gives her a lot of time to digest all that has happened. Standing across from the scans for the day, Arizona does her best to stay focussed as she attempts to focus on Bailey's voice.

'You aren't listening to me?' Bailey asks, a hint of frustration the tone of her voice at the inattention of the normally perky blonde. Bailey had been questioning Arizona about the methodology of today's surgery and Arizona's grunts for replies are just not cutting it.

'Huh?' Arizona questions, pulling herself back into the present as her mind subconsciously notices the change in Bailey's tone.

'I was talking about the surgery we have to do this afternoon and you clearly aren't listening to me' Bailey says in a slow voice, as if talking to a kid rather than a kid surgeon.

'I'm sorry, my mind is elsewhere.' Arizona replies, not giving anything away. 'Please continue' Arizona continues with as she gestures at the scans, putting a serious look on her face as she attempts to fool Bailey into thinking she's paying attention. Bailey looks closely at the blonde and can see the dullness in her eyes and the exhaustion in her voice. Deciding that it's time to get to the bottom of all this, Bailey dumps the chart and grabs Arizona pulling her into the closest on-call room, locking the door behind them. At Bailey's actions, a look of confusion develops on Arizona's face.

'Look, I don't usually interfere with other people's business. What they do in their own time I frankly don't care about. But I'm offering here, if you want someone to listen and unload, I'm here for you. And since this is interfering with MY life, I think I have the right to know. If you want.' Bailey says as she lays a comforting hand on Arizona's shoulder. Continuing in a softer voice, 'You seem more down than usual and even the patient's noticed that there was something wrong with you. There's only so many times you can justify to a child why Dr Z looks so tired.'

'I'm fine' Arizona replies, slightly embarrassed about her work colleague's line of questioning. Arizona had prided herself on her ability to minimise the influence her disastrous personal life has on her professionalism. Pressing further, Bailey continues.

'I know Callie is gone. The Chief told me this morning that she has taken a leave of absence.' Bailey continues. Arizona's eyes widen in shock as she takes in this piece of information. Arizona had been feverishly hoping that Callie just needed time to cool off – clearly that wasn't the case and Callie was headed to Miami. As she attempts to stop the tears from welling in her eyes, Arizona slumps on the bed. Everything has become just too overwhelming and the hope of a reconciliation is slipping away from her.

'Calliope left me again' Arizona whispers, more to herself that to Bailey and the realisation of what has happened sinks in. Her throat chokes up as she plays back the memory of Callie walking out on her as her pleas for Callie to stay fall on deaf ears. Bailey watches the shift in emotion in the blonde surgeon from stoic to vulnerable at the mention of her ex-wife. Bailey sits down on the chair across from Arizona and waits for her to continue. 'I don't know where to start' Arizona comments as she looks up at Bailey. The need to unload and seek advice from Bailey has resulted in Arizona wanting to open up. All her life, Arizona had been the good man in a storm and she tended to internalise all her emotions. But the point had been reached when internal solace couldn't give her the answers that she craved.

'The beginning' Bailey says. 'I know none of your history, so start at the beginning.'

Taking a deep breath, Arizona starts talking, 'Calliope and I were college sweetheart. Got engaged and married in Canada, so our marriage was legal. We both worked at John Hopkins's in New York. We were in the process of planning a family…' Arizona voices hitches as she plans to say those dreaded words. Bailey, noticing the further darkening of Arizona's demeanour and moves to sit next to her. Taking a deep breath, Arizona continues. 'When my brother died in Iraq. And then everything changed. Suddenly, I couldn't see myself as a mother as all I could see was the lifeless body of my daughter, or Calliope or any number of loved one. I told Calliope as much, and to begin with, she understood and talked about delaying the treatment. But as I made it clear that I never wanted children, she became cold and distant. Children had always been Callie's dream more than mine. But I had wanted children, a mini-Calliope of my own. But Callie couldn't fathom a life without a child and our marriage began to fall apart. All we did was fight, about anything and everything. I avoided coming home and whenever Callie saw me, she'd pick a fight. I guess a reaction was better than no reaction.'

Slumping against the wall, Arizona tries to collect her emotions, as the tears falling from her eyes are making her vision blurry. Furiously wiping her eyes, Arizona continues wanting to end this painful speech as soon as possible. 'In the end, Callie gave me an ultimatum. She was leaving for Miami, and when I was ready I had to fly out there. In other words, I had to relent, to cave and give her that child that she desperately craved. Since I couldn't live without her, I did fly out. But I never saw her in Miami. I was forced to leave Miami by her family who made it perfectly clear that I wasn't welcome. About a week later she served me divorce papers.' Arizona's voice trails off as she thinks back at what her relationship with Callie had become. It consisted of awkward silence or fighting, there was no middle ground of compromise. Both women went in with all guns blazing as they attempted to self-preserve. And this was how they had ended up – divorced. Bailey keeps a neutral face as she takes in all that Arizona has said, clearly seeing both sides of the argument. There is no middle ground when it comes to children as you either do or you don't. But for Bailey, there seems to be a link missing.

'But that doesn't explain why you came to Seattle' Bailey asks. 'You are the golden girl from John Hopkins. Everyone knows who you were in the Ped's circle. So why come here when you must have known this was where Torres worked? Why leave your own hospital when you were already fast tracked?' There is so much heartache in the relationship that Bailey wonders why Arizona would place herself back in the firing line. The pain that Arizona has endured since she's been back is unimaginable for the smaller surgeon.

'Because I tried to live without her, and frankly I can't.' Arizona says simply. Bailey can hear the unwavering assurance and determination in Arizona's voice that she is indeed telling the truth. 'For these last years, I tried to accept that I had lost the love of my life and I tried to move on. But I can't, without her, Arizona Robbins doesn't exist. But coming here has been a futile effort as she clearly wants nothing to do with me.' As Bailey continues to listen, she can't get the connection to why Callie felt the need to leave and voices this to Arizona.

Arizona then answers Bailey's questions and all the pieces fall into place. 'Calliope never knew that I chased after her to Miami and it came out last night. My guess is, she's gone down there to confront her family.' Arizona says in a resigned tone. 'According to her, everything that went wrong was my fault and now, also her family's. So she's gone down there too get the answers that she needs.'

'So why haven't you chased after her?' Bailey asks, slightly exasperated that Arizona is still in Seattle. 'You of all people must know that Torres is like a bull at a gate. She gets tunnel vision and forgets about anything else. Confront her, force her to talk to you. You're both grown, educated women. Make her listen to you!'

'But I'm the only one who does the chasing. I'm the only one that as to comprise.' Arizona replies as she begins to pace the room. 'I'm always the bad guy.' She ends with in a small voice. 'There's only so many times that I can be kicked down and ignored before I reach my tipping point and walk away for good. And I think that time has come. Calliope has made her opinion perfectly clear, she'd prefer me as far away from her as possible.'

'So that's it? Its over?' Bailey questions. 'You are just going to walk away from the person that you call the love of your life? Even though you know where she has gone and if she didn't care, she wouldn't have gone there in the first place. I know Torres, her family is important to her. And clearly, she feels betrayed, but can you let her go? Let me tell you of the Torres that I know. When she arrived in Seattle, she appeared broken and she kept everyone at arms distance. She is a dedicated surgeon, but that's all she was to anyone in the hospital. Over time, she slowly let people into her life and developed a close-knit group of friends. But even now, I feel that I don't really know Torres. But since you've been back, she's different. And it's a good different. Torres has never spent so much time up on the Peds floor in her life and that's because it's where YOU are. She can't pull herself away from you, she's like a moth to your flame. She may still be angry and upset, but she can't stay away from you. I know I have no right to ask you this, but give her more time. I want to know the real Torres.'

Arizona remains silent as she takes in Bailey's words. It felt good to vent her anger and frustration to someone who would give a fair and just opinion. Bailey didn't paint her as the bad guy and had listened closely to what she had to say. Because Bailey was right – could Arizona just walk away? But Arizona had been here for months and she felt that she was getting nowhere with Callie. As Bailey watches the blonde try and sort out her feelings, she gets up and shuts the door behind her. Arizona doesn't even notice, her mind still dissecting all that had happened as she has a big decision to make. Is her relationship with Callie truly over?

XXXX

When Callie had first walked out of the apartment, she had wandered the streets of Seattle, her head unable to make heads or tails of the situation. The fact that Arizona had actually come to Miami had confused Callie and it made her doubt everything that she knew. Callie filing for divorce had been a brash decision and she was now regretted her decision. A life without Arizona was unbearable. Callie felt that her life was at a stand-still, everything was slipping through her grasp. When she had filed for divorce, Callie had thought that she could never be happy with Arizona. There was too much pain in their relationship. But now, there was no happiness without her. Callie missed everything about Arizona; her dorkiness when it came to anything to do with sport, the fact that she couldn't cook to save her life and instead knew the phone number of every surrounding take-out place. Even the look she's shoot Callie as she'd sit in the gallery, that even though most is hidden by her mask, Callie knew that those dimples were showing for her. That grin assured Callie that there was a high possibility that she'd get lucky that night. When it comes down to it, Callie misses Arizona. Arizona was, is and always will be the one.

As Callie wanders the streets she decides to go straight to the horse's mouth to get the answers she so desperately craves. This means that Callie will have to confront her mother. Once Arizona had uttered that she knew where she wasn't welcome, Callie had understood that her mother had played a part. For years Callie had turned a blind eye to her homophobic mother and had hoped that she would eventually accept her own daughter and what Arizona meant to her. But as the years progressed, the attitude had worsened and Callie had done nothing, pretending to be oblivious. And Arizona hadn't wanted to make Callie choose between family and wife again – and had ignored the remarks. But this avoidance strategy had backfired in the worst possible way.

Arriving at the front door of her childhood home in Miami, Callie takes a deep breath to calm her nerves. She'd been sitting in her hire car for over an hour as she had prepared to confront her mother. Callie had always been a Daddy's girl which had often lead to a strained relationship between mother and daughter. Her mother had wanted ballet instead of basketball, law school rather than medical school and finally a husband rather than a wife. A daughter's relationship with her mother is perhaps the most important in her life. But for Callie, that relationship was tainted with hatred, anger and silence. Even when her father had accepted her and attempted to erase the bad memories, her mother had been unapologetic. Although her father was immensely proud of his daughter and what she had become, Lucia Torres was less than impressed. A gay daughter was not something that Lucia Torres was comfortable with and she had been immensely happy when the divorce was finalised. The mother-daughter relationship had recovered somewhat post-divorce as Mrs Torres had assisted her eldest daughter to recovery. Callie could finally see that her mother had ulterior motives for her actions as she had wanted to scrub the 'gayness' off her daughter.

Knocking on the door, it in opened by Marie, her mother's helper who directs her towards the study. Stepping in, Callie sees her mother sitting behind her desk, talking on the phone. Directing Callie to take a seat while she finishes up Callie listens to her mother discuss the finer points of a reception she is organising. Placing the phone back down on the cradle, Lucia Torres stands and walks towards her eldest daughter.

'Calliope, you should have called. It's very unlike you to just drop in. Is everything ok?' Mrs Torres asks as she drops a kiss on her eldest daughter's cheek. Since moving to Seattle, Callie had kept her distance from Miami. She had preferred for her parents to make the trip north. Taking a seat next to her daughter, Mrs Torres looks upon Callie. She watches her daughter fidget in her lap, a habit that has not disappeared with age. Clearly there is something on Callie's mind.

'Yes Mama, everything is fine. Just felt like dropping in for a visit' Callie responds, choosing to let the conversation stay on safer topics as she collects her nerves. For the next several minutes, the two women discuss cases Callie's has worked on and other topics. Deciding that it's time to bite the bullet, Callie broaches the topic that had caused her to flee Seattle in the first place. 'Oh, the hospital got a new Ped's attending.' Mrs Torres can hear the slight stutter in her daughter's voice makes her wonder what is the significance of this one doctor.

'Oh yes, what's the doctor like? In he a dashing young man that you have got your eye on?' Mrs Torres responds, wondering if Callie is dating this person and is trying to find a casual way to steer the conversation in that direction. Since her divorce, Callie has had a non-existent love life and never mentioned any permanent fixture in her life.

'Well…its…ah…Arizona' Callie finally manages to stutter out. At the mere mention of Arizona, the lines of Lucia's face deepens and her lips thin in an angry expression.

'What is that woman doing in the same hospital as you? She's done enough damage to this family and should know to keep her distance.' Lucia seethes. Her hands clench in anger as she thinks about that woman and what she did to Callie. As Callie listens to the anger in her mother's voice, it strengthens Callie's need to know the truth causing her nerves to calm.

'She got a job in the Ped's department' Callie continues in a calm voice, as if they were talking about the weather. 'And it's been inevitable that we've been talking about us and what happened. I mean, it's not every day that your ex-wife starts working at the same '

'I hope you aren't thinking of taking that woman back' She says as she cuts off Callie. The venom in her voice indicating that Callie has hit a raw nerve.

'As I was saying, we've been talking and a startling bit of information has come out. Turns out Arizona did come down to Miami all those years ago. Would you know anything about that?' Callie questions as she watches the blood drain from her mother's face. This was an incident that Mrs Torres had hoped her daughter would never found out about. 'Because I never saw her and no one mentioned that she'd come down. Because as she was my wife, if someone knew something it's something I should have known. In fact, you pushed me to get a divorce because you said our relationship was unrecoverable.'

'I have nothing to say on the matter' Lucia Torres says. 'I have some errands to run, you're welcome to come along.' As her mother attempts to leave the room, Callie sees all the signs of deflection. Being married to Arizona, Callie knows all the tricks of the trade when it comes to avoiding a situation. Moving quickly, Callie moves to stand in front of her. This is one issue that Callie will get to the bottom of the situation.

'Mama, what did you do? What did you say to Arizona?' Callie says, pain lacing her voice. Lucia Torres turns to face her daughter, feeling no regret for her actions all those years before. Lucia Torres believed that she was in the right and her daughter needed to be protected.

XXXX

_Standing on the front porch of the Torres manor, Arizona nervously hops from foot to foot somewhat reminiscent of Callie's pee dance. After two weeks of sorting through her emotions, her dreams and desires, Arizona felt that she was ready to have an actual conversation will Callie. No more dancing around the issue or hurtful jabs, it was time to sit down and discuss this as wives. Giving herself an internal pep talk with accompanying head nods, Arizona doesn't notice the front door open and Lucia Torres staring down at her daughter-in-law. A light cough pulls Arizona from her own mind and she sees Mrs Torres and the cold glare thrown her way. _

'_Can I help you?' Lucia asks coldly, not making any movement to invite Arizona inside the house. _

'_I would like to see Calliope' Arizona replies in a calm voice, not bothering to pull Lucia up on her disrespect towards her daughter's wife. The attitude is nothing new. _

'_She's not here' Even before these words are out of her mouth, the door begins to shut in Arizona's face. Before the door can shut, Arizona has stuck her foot in the doorway, forcing Mrs Torres to turn back and look at her._

'_Well, I'd like to wait for her inside' Arizona continues, her tone indicating that there will be no argument in the matter. Arizona reads the look of disgust on Lucia Torres's face, but not wanting to make a scene, allows Arizona to enter. Stepping backwards, she gestures for Arizona to enter the house. _

'_We'll wait in the lounge' Lucia continues, not ready to concede defeat to Arizona and welcome her in. Both women head towards the room, silence stretching between them. Sitting down across from each other, Arizona does anything she can to avoid the glare that is being thrown her way. Finally, Mrs Torres is unable to hold it in any longer, 'I think you should leave, my daughter does not want to see you' She says in a cold voice, chilling Arizona to the bone. _

'_That's not your decision' Arizona replies, holding in the anger. It will do no one any favours if she loses her cool with Callie's mother no matter how much the woman deserves a slap across her face. 'Only my wife can send me away if she doesn't want to see me.' Arizona emphasis the word wife to show that she has rights to see Callie and she's not some floozy Callie dragged in off the street. They are married, even if the mere thought makes Lucia Torres cringe. _

'_You are not my daughter's wife' Mrs Torres exclaims, venom lacing her voice. 'My daughter just went through a phase with you. Your marriage was a farce and your relationship has finally met its timely end. ' Arizona's mouth opens in shock at the blatant disrespect Mrs Torres is showing towards her. Usually, veiled insults are more her style as she would attempt to make Arizona awkward in her own relationship. Pressuring on, Mrs Torres continues 'Calliope still has time to settle down with a good man who can show her what a real, natural marriage is. And the fact that you were planning to bring children into this farce is beyond belief. You clearly have no dignity as you intend corrupt future generation including your own children.' _

_It's clear that Lucia Torres going on the attack. The doubt over the their marriage and Callie's true feeling towards her causes Arizona's blood to boil. Lucia Torres had never accepted that her daughter is gay – choosing instead to believe that Arizona had somehow converted her daughter. Trying to remain civilised, Arizona responds to Mrs Torres' attack. 'Mrs Torres, you know that our marriage isn't a phase.' Using present tense, Arizona emphasis that their marriage is not over. Arizona leaves alone the fact the Mrs Torres believes Callie needs a husband to be happy as her out of date and misguided opinions cannot be changed. _

'_Oh but your marriage is over, when she went to college she needed to rebel against her upbringing. You converted her to your perverted ways. She has finally realised that she was living in sin. And she's leaving you.' The unwavering conviction in her voice makes Arizona feel sick. Sadly, Arizona has dealt with opinions like this before, but for her wife's own mother to feel this way makes Arizona sick. Listening to the homophobic rant spewing from her mouth, Arizona begins to lose her cool. By now, both women are standing up, facing across from each other. Leaning towards each other, the anger is rolling off each other. The tension in the room is palatable as an impasse has been reached. _

'_Oh for God's sake Lucia, your daughter is gay! She's in love with me. Our marriage is as real as yours. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can have a real relationship with your daughter. You have kept her at arm's distance since you found out about me. I couldn't force Calliope to do anything even if I wanted to. This just shows how little you know about your daughter.' Arizona exclaims, her opinions falling on deaf ears. _

'_Don't you dare judge me!' Mrs Torres screams back, her face becoming flushed as anger consumes her. 'You forced your perverted ways onto my daughter and condemned her to be shunned in society. It's not natural and you deserve all the pain and suffering you have endured.'_

'_SHE LOVE'S ME!' Arizona screams back, her breaking point exceeded as she listens to the homophobic outburst from the older woman's mouth. All the pain and anguish she has suffered because of this woman has gone on long enough. A loud crack rings around the room as Lucia Torres' open hand connects with Arizona's face causing the blonde to stumble backwards._

'_You mean nothing to my daughter, and the sooner you get that through your depraved mind, the sooner my daughter can reach her true potential. Both as a woman, a wife and a mother!' Arizona remains silent, still shocked that Lucia Torres had actually hit her. Her cheek burns from the impact and Arizona is certain that a red handprint is developing. Mrs Torres takes the silence as a sign that Arizona has conceded defeat and nails one final nail into her coffin. 'You have corrupted my daughter and bought pain and suffering onto her and yourself. How your family and brother could stand next to you and watch you declare you love to another woman is beyond me. They are honourable and good people that had to remain quiet as you went against everything you were bought up to be. No wonder your brother was always in active service. He had to work twice as hard to overcome the fact that having a lesbian sister tarnish his reputation. When you look in the mirror, you should blame yourself for the death of your brother, you disgusting, misguided person.' _

_As the words are uttered by Mrs Torres, Arizona fights against the urge to vomit. The deepest wound, the rawest sore has just been ripped open and exposed. To be accused of causing her own brother's death has shattered Arizona's confidence in anything and everything she believes in. She knows she didn't have any influence on her brother's death, but it's all become too much. The tears fall freely from her eyes as she watches Lucia Torres silently gloat at reducing Arizona to tears. Arizona realises that she will not see Callie if Lucia Torres has anything to say about it. The venom, the anger and the hatred that she has endured is just too much. Picking up the bag at her feet, Arizona leaves the house. Immediately calling Callie, Arizona plans to tell her to come meet her somewhere else. Anywhere else would be easier. If only it had been that simple. _

XXXX

As Lucia Torres looks upon her eldest daughter, she can see the pain in her daughter's eyes as they talk about her ex-wife. Blaming Arizona for all her daughter's pain, Mrs Torres responds to her Callie's question. 'She was telling the truth, she did come to Miami. I told her to leave as she was not welcome here in this household. I told her the truth, that you didn't want to see her.' Callie's eyes widen in shock as she listens to her mother attempt to defend her actions.

'Why would you do that?' Callie screams at her mother. 'Why would you send MY wife away?'

'Because you no longer wanted to be with her.' She calmly replies. 'That woman destroyed you. She made you a lesbian and disgraced not just you but the entire family. And to think you were planning on having a child with that woman' Lucia Torres responds, she not seeing the error in her ways. Lucia Torres believed herself to be an upstanding member of society and a lesbian daughter tarnished her reputation. But this wasn't so much about her own reputation as her daughter's. As Callie listens to her own mother deny her sexuality, her anger increases ten-fold.

'How can you not see this. I'm gay Mama! Nothing you or anyone else says can change this. It wasn't a fling, a one night stand, Arizona was it for me. That woman is the love of my life and she made me a better person. No one convinced or corrupted me into loving Arizona. No one made me gay. I am gay!' Callie hurls back and her mother's denial of her daughter's sexuality.

Before Lucia Torres can respond, they hear someone clear their throat in the doorway. Both incensed women whirl around to see who would have the nerve to interrupt them. The argument comes to a standstill as she see a tired and drawn out Arizona standing in the doorway. Still in her dark blue attending scrubs, Arizona has clearly just got off a flight as there is no luggage at all. The silence stretches within the room as the two Torres' wonder how much of the conversation the blonde had heard. Looking at her ex-wife square in the eye, Arizona breaks the silence in the room.

'We need to talk.'


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thanks for the reviews and alerts.

Once Arizona had uttered that they needed to talk, Callie's face contorts into the look of a goldfish as her mouth opens and closes in shock. Arizona's appearance in Miami was the last thing that Callie had expected when she'd left Seattle the previous night. Callie's need to understand what had transpired down in Miami all those years ago meant that Arizona's reaction to her disappearance had not even been considered. So to say that Callie was shocked by Arizona's arrival was a severe understatement. Lucia Torres doesn't react any better than Callie at the sudden reappearance of _that_ blonde. It seemed as if even when she explicitly told the blonde to stay out of her daughter's life, Arizona just didn't get the hint. But reading the look in Callie's eyes, she understands that the battle is lost. Lucia Torres recognises that look and as much as she hates to admit it – Callie Torres always has and always will be in love with Arizona. Attacking Arizona now will only alienate Callie further, pushing her straight into her ex-wife's arms. So for once in her life, Lucia Torres holds her tongue no matter how much it pains her to do so.

As Arizona observes the two Latina's standing stock still in the centre of the room and wonders briefly if any of it was worth it. But this issue had been resolved while sitting in the on-call room once Bailey had left her alone to her thoughts. As Arizona thought about Callie, Arizona realises that she couldn't just walk away. The situation they were in highlighted the fact that they were like chalk and cheese who react to situations drastically different. Callie was hot-headed and impulsive while Arizona was a planner of intricate details. This meant that they often butted heads and has played a part into why they are in this situation. But this was Arizona's final shot at happiness, if Arizona still couldn't get through to Callie, she'd walk away. Arizona was feverishly hoping that it wouldn't come to that but there is only so many times that Arizona could put herself through heartbreak.

'What are you doing here?' Callie finally manages to stutter out as she attempts to pull herself out of her stupor. Hearing her accusing tone, Callie mentally chastises herself as she waits for Arizona to blow up. Instead, Arizona chooses not to respond, but instead raises an eyebrow at Callie's poorly stated question. Callie makes a conscious decision to keep her mouth shut to stop the drivel from spilling out. As the silence stretches in the room, the awkwardness increases as the three women glance warily at each other.

'We need to talk' Arizona finally says, meeting Callie's eye. Noting Mrs Torres presence in the room, Arizona adds 'In private'. Mutely nodding, Callie walks towards Arizona still in a state of shock at Arizona's sudden appearance. It's as if her muscles are moving at their own accord as her brain has turned to mush. Moving around Arizona standing in the doorway, Callie starts to head towards the opposite end of the house so they can be as far away from Mrs Torres as possible. This is one discussion where Lucia will have no input.

Entering a sitting room, Callie waits for Arizona to enter before shutting the door behind her. Both women move to the centre of the room to face off. Callie begins to fidget and her resolve crumble as she looks upon Arizona. The steeliness in Arizona's eyes tells Callie that there will be no compromise today – its make or break.

'What the hell were you thinking' Arizona utters in a slow voice as she stalks towards Callie. 'You walked out on me AGAIN. You turned your back and left me AGAIN!' By the time she had finished this statement, Arizona has walked over to Callie, getting in her face and daring her to go on the attack. Callie flinches at the tone in Arizona's voice and backpedals to try and put more distance between them. 'We were making progress in our relationship. We were talking about where we stood with each other' Arizona says gesturing between each other. As Arizona has been talking, a flush has developed on her cheeks indicating that she is getting riled up. The blonde's hands are fisted at her sides as she lets all the pain and hurt she's been under just flow out.

'I…ah…' Callie manages stumbles out as Arizona takes deep breath. Arizona hold up her hand, signalling that she hasn't finished. Whatever Callie was going to say dies on her lips as she looks upon her ex-wife.

'And I get it, you didn't know that I had made the trip down to Miami. Because there is no way that your mother was going to tell you and although I _tried_ to contact you, I couldn't get through to you. But what were you thinking! I could have given you the answers that you need. But oh no, nothing I could say could be trusted. You had to run back to your mother to be assured that divorcing me was the right decision.'

'I didn't…' Callie cuts in as she wants to set the story straight.

'SO you came back here, without telling me and tried to get answers out of your homophobic mother!' Arizona exclaims, talking over whatever Callie was going to say. 'Because somehow in your mind that seemed to be a more unbiased and logical method to obtain the truth.' Arizona ends with as she grinds her teeth together to stop blurting something out that she can't take back. Sending this argument into a name-throwing pissing match wouldn't solve any problems. As Callie takes in all that Arizona has said, she sees that coming to Miami without at least telling Arizona was a stupid decision. Arizona appears incensed at Callie's inability to discuss anything like adults and her need to always run off.

'I just wanted to know the truth' Callie whispers, examining the carpet in detail as she's scared to meet Arizona's glare. Running her hands through her hair, Arizona feels her anger drain from her body. The defeated tone in Callie's voice tells Arizona all that she needed to know. As usual, Callie had acted like a bull at a gate and hadn't thought about the consequences of her actions. Sitting down in one of the armchairs, Callie soon follows suit as both women are unsure of how to come back from here and have a real conversation.

'Do you want to be with me? I mean do I even stand a chance here. I've put myself on the line again and again, and I just keep getting shut down.' Arizona asks, the smallness in her voice exposing her vulnerability. It's the one answer Arizona has been unable to get out of Callie. And it's the one answer that she desperately needed to know. Playing with the threading on her scrubs, Arizona refuses to look up. She doesn't want to see the denial in Callie's eyes.

Callie's head shoots up in shock at the directness of Arizona's question. 'What?' There was definitely no dancing around the issues today.

Reiterating her point Arizona continues, 'I need to know where I stand with you? I can't go on without knowing.'

'I'm not sure' Callie responds and she sees Arizona's shoulders slump in defeat. Quickly backpedalling to lessen the blow, Callie continues 'There's more to our relationship than a yes and no question Arizona. We broke up over children and that issue was never resolved.'

'But it shouldn't be an issue. You didn't fall in love with me because of children that we _may_ have, we didn't get married because of children that we _may_ have. We got married because we were in love. We were happy without children. And I'm pretty sure we could have stayed happy without children. But you made this issue a make or break for our relationship.' Arizona is back on her face, pacing back and forward on her side of the room.

'Exactly' Callie says 'To me, this is a make or break issue. I need to have children.'

'Then why aren't you married with children now?' Arizona questions. 'If they are so important and ingrained into your future happiness, why don't you have any?'

'Because I wanted to have children with _you_' Callie snaps back, surprised that Arizona hasn't made the connection. Callie knows that she will never truly be happy without Arizona but she still holds feverishly to her dreams and hopes that the dreams are once again Arizona's.

'Precisely, you wanted to have children with _me_. But the survival of our relationship shouldn't be based on this issue. We were and can still be happy without children.'

'But I need to know if you ever want children?' Callie says, pushing the issue further and not even bothering to respond to Arizona's argument. 'We can't move along unless I know.'

Realising that the subject will not be dropped unless Arizona answers, she collects her thought. 'I think so' Arizona says, her hands open and close as her nervousness shines through. Arizona knows she let herself open to be attacked by Callie at her weak answer.

'Yes or no, Arizona.' Callie sternly replies as she takes no nonsense.

'Yes, I think so' Arizona finally utters in a small voice. Her answer is the truth and hopefully Callie will accept this.

'Why?' Callie asks, needing to know what has led to the change of heart.

'Because, I can still see the dream. When my brother died, I couldn't see it. But I slowly dealt with his death and came to terms with his loss. Over the time, the pain lessened and the dream came back. I still want the house, the 2.5 kids and chickens with you. I'm still scared, but it's a good scared.' Arizona ends with as she tries to convince Callie that she is indeed telling the truth. 'But we could have resolved my fears without going through a divorce.' Arizona adds, still deeply hurt that Callie dismissed her fears and gave her an ultimatum into immediately having a child. 'I'm not saying a want a child now, I'm saying in the future if we sort all this out, I can see myself having a child with you.'

'But what else is there to sort out?' Callie questions. 'We broke up because you didn't want children.'

'Stop trivialising our divorce Callie' Arizona exclaims in anger. 'There was more wrong in our marriage than my refusal to immediately give you a baby.' Listing them off on her fingers, Arizona points out all that was wrong, 'We didn't communicate, I ignored you, you dismissed my fears, you gave me an ultimatum that I HAD to have a child with you, you packed your bags and left me and you filed for divorce!' Holding up her fingers to show just how many issues in their marriage spring to mind, Callie shrinks back in her seat. 'I don't even get me started at your inability to make a decision without your mother's consent' Arizona snaps out. Breathing deeply, Arizona attempts to collect her emotions. Callie's behaviour towards their divorce makes Arizona wonder what she is actually fighting for.

'What did she say to you?' Callie finally asks. All she had understood from her mother was that there had been confrontation. Lucia Torres had refused to go into details although Callie was sure that wasn't because she was feeling guilty.

'It doesn't really matter now does it' Arizona says, dismissing Callie's question. The last thing she wanted to discuss was what Lucia Torres had accused her of doing. Why Callie feels the need to focus on what Arizona sees as a trivial matter is beyond her.

'I need to know' Callie implores 'I need to understand. I need to know why you left?'

'Fine, you want to know what your homophobic mother yelled at me because it will somehow make you warm and fuzzy on the inside. She accused me of corrupting you with my gayness. That you just need a good _man_ to set you straight, and that's in the literal sense. That our marriage was a farce that had met its timely end. And to top it all off, she told me that my family was ashamed of me. That my brother had served overseas to prove himself because I tainted him with my gayness. She accused me of murdering him because he was only overseas because of ME! There, do you feel better now Callie!' Arizona yells in the general direction of Callie. Her back was turned as she didn't want Callie to see the tears streaming down her face. As hard as Arizona had tried, the hurtful words from Lucia had scarred her deeply and she can remember it word for word. There are just some things Arizona couldn't erase from her past, not matter how much she tried.

'I'm sorry' Callie implores the blonde facing away from her. 'If I'd known that you had come to Miami, maybe things would have been different. What my mother said to you is unacceptable and I know that her twisted words hurt you. But I didn't know. If I'd known…' Her voice trails off as Callie struggles to cope with the information she had just found out. Wiping her eyes furiously, Arizona turns to face Callie, a look of shock developing on her face.

As Arizona listens the Callie's heartfelt speech, anger consumes her as she listens to the words that are spoken. As usual, Callie is painting herself as the victim in the situation with her mother as the scapegoat of the moment. Callie is still maintaining her innocence in the divorce. 'Stop' Arizona yells at Callie. 'But you did know about your mother's attitude towards us. You just couldn't be bothered to defend me from your own mother. I was your wife Callie, your wife. And you turned a blind eye to your mother's jabs about my sexuality amongst other things. You just turned away and pretended that everything was fine! You pretended to be oblivious!'

'But she is my mother! What was I supposed to do' Callie snaps back at Arizona.

'Defend me, defend us! It's good to see that you have your priorities right' Arizona adds in a sarcastic voice. 'I can't believe that after all these years, you still think of yourself as the victim in our divorce. I was always the bad guy in our marriage and now you are blaming your mother for our divorce. You knew about the disdain she felt towards our marriage. And then you decided that coming to Miami would be a good place to resolve our difference!'

'I never knew you came to Miami' Callie screams out in reply, still not seeing the bigger picture. 'So don't you dare pin this all on me.'

'But you left, you left! You made the conscious decision the pack your bags and leave our marriage. I didn't ask you to, you did that all by yourself. I begged you to stay with me!'

'You were never home, you were always chasing that next surgery.' Callie hurls back.

'Because all you wanted to talk about was a phantom child that was all in your head. You dismissed my fears and gave me an ultimatum because it was your way or the highway. And I know that I'm not innocent because I put the distance between us and I handled the baby issue badly. But you are the one that gave up, not me. You gave us no time. My brother died Calliope, he died' Arizona implores trying to get Callie to finally understand just how scared and frightened she had been.

'But my mother…' Callie continues as she attempts to explain her inaction. Callie had always been intimidated by her mother and felt inferior when compared to her younger sister Aria. Aria was the dream child that could do no wrong. Her mother always played favourites and the words 'if only you were more like Aria' often fell from her lips. Callie didn't have the confidence to pull her mother up and since Arizona never raised the issue, Callie had felt that this could keep pretending. Clearly, this assumption had been wrong.

'Had nothing to do with you leaving and had nothing to do with the filing for divorce.' Arizona adds in a stern voice, daring Callie to disagree.

'She told me that I was better off without you. That you would never change your mind about children and that you didn't want to save our marriage.' Callie replies as she attempts to justify her actions. There was always a need for Callie to seek approval in her mother's eyes as this was the highest form of praise. When Callie had arrived in Miami, she had been confused and hurt. Her mother had helped her adjust to a life without Arizona. Callie had never realised that her mother's help was tainted. To anyone but Callie, her opinion is coming across whiny and self-centred and Arizona says as much.

And you listening to yourself?' Arizona asks in an incredulous voice. 'You were 27 years old and you did what your bigoted mother said. And you filed for divorce so don't you dare blame this on her. The divorce is on you.'

'But Arizona…' Callie implores for a second time as she attempts to dig herself out of the hole that she has created. Not even bothering to listen to whatever excuse is flowing out of Callie's mouth, Arizona reads the look of defiance in Callie's eyes. Arizona could always read Callie and sees that Callie just doesn't understand and that she probably never will. To Arizona, it seems as if Callie still can only see everyone else's blame in the demise of their marriage. As Arizona makes this personal revelation, all the fight leaves her as there is no light at the end of the tunnel, there is no hope. And any chance for a reconciliation has long since passed them by.

'I'm done' Arizona says in a calm voice, cutting off whatever half-arsed excuse Callie was sprouting.

'What?' Callie's stutters out as she looks upon her ex-wife's face. The fight had been going around in circles so a while now. But by no means were they done. Callie needed Arizona to understand and deep down she has always known that.

'When I came to Seattle, I thought I could fix this' She says as she gestures between the two of them. 'Because after all these years I believed I was still in love with you. That we could work through our differences and find _us_ again. But standing here, now I remember all the reasons why I don't love you. Your stubbornness, your inability to put perspective on anything and that you never listen to me. These are the reasons why it took me three years to chase after you. I can finally see that our marriage was over all those years ago and I have closure that I need. It wasn't the closure I wanted. But with you, I'll take what I can get.' She continues as she stares at the shocked Callie before her. 'So, I'm done. I can finally move on in my life. I guess you weren't the one for me.' Before Callie can come up with a response to defend herself and stop Arizona in her tracks, Arizona walks towards the door.

'No…Arizona please' Callie implores as she attempts to block Arizona's exit from the room. Her mind is reeling and Callie can't seem to put words together. Just last night, the roles had been reversed as Arizona had attempted the same thing. Callie knows she's acting childish but she's confused about what exactly the blonde wants from her. Everything that Callie had said was shut down and dismissed and Callie found herself getting defensive and bitchy.

Brushing past Callie, Arizona turns back and nails the coffin shut 'It's over Callie, I don't love you and I don't want to be with you. I can't be with someone who has no respect for me, our relationship or themselves. There's nothing left to say. We are over' Closing the door behind her, Arizona finally does the walking away as she pretends not to hear the sobs behind her. But the weight on her shoulders isn't lifted as the sobs chase after her as Arizona walks down the hallway. Arizona pretends not to hear the distress as she attempts to convince herself that it's no longer her job to protect, defend or comfort Callie.

Slumping against the chair in the now empty room, Callie feels a fresh round of tears fall from her eyes. 'But that's where you are wrong, there is something I need to say. I love you and I can't live without you' Callie whispers to the empty room as she prays that it could take the pain away. Moving into the foetal position on the sofa, sobs wrack Callie's body and guilt consumes her. Callie has pushed away the love of her life again.

XXXX

A/N 2: So when I planned this story this was (and possibly is) the final chapter. But I do understand that ending a Calzona story with a break-up may be an unforgivable sin. So I did half plan a final chapter which has a happier ending. But I'm unsure of if to write it or not. Thanks again to Janice. So I would love to hear what you think. But not too much hate please. And I'm working on a new story which has less angst so stay tuned.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: So, as you can tell, I did write an additional chapter with a happier ending. Hopefully I've written a chapter that does justice to the way I ended it previously. With any luck, I haven't screwed the entire story up. Special thanks go to Janice from preventing me re-writing this chapter and helping me finish it.

XXXX

Nervously standing on the Robbins' front porch, Callie prays that this is where Arizona had sought refuge after the debacle that was Miami. Callie hadn't kept in contact with any of Arizona's friends from her married day and was clutching at straws that this was where Arizona had gone. Since Arizona had walked away, Callie had done a lot of soul searching. Callie was ashamed to say that it had taken Arizona walking away to see her own faults. Although understanding that they were both at fault for the divorce, Callie knew that she was solely to blame for Arizona walking away in Miami. Callie hadn't learnt from her mistakes the first time around with her ultimatum about children had been thrown around again. Callie had no excuse for her behaviour, no justification for her faults and no defence for her mistakes. But Callie was going to do her damn hardest to prove that she could and would change.

Once Arizona had walked out on her, Callie knew that this was now her problem to fix. It had always been Arizona chasing after her, grovelling for a second chance while Callie maintained her indifferent attitude. But the first thing to do was to confront her mother. Callie had always been ruled by her emotions and often made hasty and brash decisions – with exhibit 'A' being her haste in filing for divorce. Arguments would make her emotional and she'd often struggle to articulate what she wanted to say without lashing out and doing as much hurt as possible. But for once, this wasn't the case. Standing before her mother, Callie had calmly told her mother the truth that she was, is and always will be gay. That Arizona is the love of her life and nothing will ever change that. And then on her own accord, Callie had ended her relationship with her mother. Callie had known for years that the relationship was unhealthy. But Callie had liked to believe that her mother did actually love her and have her best interests at heart. But neither party could continue to hide behind the façade of a happy family any longer.

As she stood before her mother, Callie realised that she wasn't just doing this for Arizona. She was also doing this for herself. Carlos Torres had heard the end part of Callie's talk with Lucia, but had remained silent letting his daughter say all that needed to be said. As Lucia Torres looked upon two thirds of the most important people in her life, she realises that she may have been wrong. The disdain and disappointment being shown towards her is enough to make her question her long standing beliefs. For someone who had always prided herself on her reputation, Lucia Torres had destroyed her reputation within her most important circle - her family.

Finally working up the courage to knock on the front door, Callie soon is face to face with one Colonel Daniel Robbins of the United States Marine Corp and he does not look pleased to see her. 'Yes' he barks out, doing away with pleasantries at the sight of Callie. Swallowing the golf ball size lump in her throat, Callie attempts to speak. 'I… was… wondering if Arizona was here?' Callie finally stutters out.

Until now, Callie had never seen Daniel in 'Colonel Mood'. Callie now understood why Arizona always gave this man the utmost respect. The death stare being shot her way makes Callie wonder if it's possible to spontaneously combust from a glare? Maybe she's got it all wrong showing up on this doorstep. Before she can question further whether Arizona is here, a voice breaks the death stare.

'Oh Daniel, let her in' Barbara Robbins comments as she lightly pushes her husband aside. 'Callie, how nice to see you.' Barbara comments as she pulls her daughter-in-law into a tight hug. Whatever was going on in her daughter's relationship, Callie is still family. Finally letting Callie go, the two women draw apart and Barbara sees the tiredness and pain in the younger woman's eyes. When Arizona had showed up on their doorstep, she had been inconsolable. It was unusual for Arizona to show her vulnerability so Mrs Robbins had known that something serious had transpired between the ex-wives. But Arizona had shut down and refused to even discuss what had happened. 'She's out back, you know the way' she adds, gently pushing Callie in the right direction.

Callie heads off towards the back of the house, knowing the way like the back of her hand. Before she can get out of earshot, she hers the Colonel comment. 'Do you think this is a good idea? Her being here? Arizona is already hurting enough.' A second wave of guilt consumes Callie when she hears those words. It had once been Callie's job to protect, defend and support Arizona. And Callie had failed that job abysmally as all she did was neglect, attack and mistreat.

'That's not our decision Daniel' Barbara curtly replies as she puts her husband back in line.

By now Callie is out of earshot and whatever else is said goes unheard. Reaching the back door, Callie sees Arizona sitting down with her back against a tree with some sort of magazine in her lap. Silently observing her from distance, Callie is again struck by how stupid she has been. She threw this woman away because she thought she could live without her. That it was a child that will bring her happiness rather than marriage to this woman.

As if through psychic means, Arizona glances around to see who is disturbing her peace. Arizona has this feeling that someone is watching her, which isn't unusual considering her parent's hovering nature. Spotting Callie on the veranda, Arizona's eyes widen in shock to which Callie responds with an awkward half-wave. Arizona makes no move to get up and she waits for Callie to approach her. Joining Arizona against the tree, Callie leaves some space between them. Flicking through the magazine on her lap, Arizona mind is reeling at Callie's appearance. Callie had never fought for their relationship as she had favoured the approach of walking away when she didn't get her way. In short, Callie had never come after Arizona or shown an inkling that Arizona is worth fighting for.

'What are you doing here Cal?' Arizona finally asks as she keeps her eyes trained on the magazine. The extreme shortening of her name causes Callie to grimace slightly - Calliope in private, Callie or Dr Torres in public, but never Cal. The tone of Arizona's voice tells Callie everything that she needs to know – Arizona has shut down, her walls are up and Arizona will fight hard to keep Callie out. Callie doesn't blame her for that, and knew she was always going to face an uphill battle.

'I just want to talk' Callie replies as she picks up a stick and begins to play in the dirt. So ashamed with her behaviour down to Miami, Callie doesn't even have the nerve to meet her ex-wife's eyes as she's scared of what she might see. Disappoint or hatred Callie can deal with as they are expected emotions and it shows that Arizona still cares. But to see nothing but indifference coming from Arizona's eyes would break Callie and seal their fate forever as ex-wives.

'We don't talk. We have never been able to talk. You and I' Arizona says gesturing between the two of them, 'we argue. We fight. We dance around an issue until it's forgotten. We bury our problems. We've got those things done to perfection. But you and I _never_ talk.' Arizona ends with as she prepares to stand up and leave Callie. Arizona figures she may as well keep the tradition going and ignore Callie's presence. In her eyes, there is no stepping back from the precipice of defeat.

'Please' Callie whispers as she grasps Arizona's hand, stopping her in her tracks. Turning her glance back towards Callie, Arizona's retort dies on her lips as she looks into those soulful brown eyes. Those eyes had always been her kryptonite and Callie's eyes are glazed over with tears as she silently begs Arizona to stay. Caving because of the emotions playing in those eyes, Arizona sits back down as she waits for Callie to continue. Silence falls between them as Callie tries to articulate her feelings, her sorrow, her pain and regret. Callie knows that she doesn't have the right to feel even half of these emotions and yet she does.

'I'm so sorry' Callie continues with as she looks upon Arizona, trying to read her expression. Arizona remains silent, waiting for Callie to continue as a simple 'I'm sorry' will no longer cut it. Arizona had done the pleading countless times before and it had been thrown back in her face.

'I have no excuse, I have no reason to explain why I treated you that way or to justify my actions.' Callie voice trails off as a lump develops again in her throat. As crying will not do her any favours, Callie takes a deep breath and continues. 'I treated you like crap and used you as my personal punching bag when life didn't go my way. I emotionally abused you when I trivialised the death of your brother. I turned a blind eye to my mother's treatment of you. And in the end, I pushed you permanently away, not once but twice.' Callie ends with as her soul-searching has unearthed all her mistakes.

'We broke our marriage' Arizona adds, correcting Callie's previous statement. It takes two people to break a marriage and both women had played their roles perfectly in its demise. But the disaster of Miami was firmly Callie's fault as Arizona was the only one bending, pleading and asking. In comparison, Callie made ultimatums, acted like a child and threw tantrums when things didn't go her way. Falling silent again, Arizona waits for Callie to continue.

'I was scared that I would lose you again' Callie continues, knowing that she has a lot of explaining to do. Arizona raises her eyebrows at this comment as it had been the last thing she'd expected Callie to say. Since moving to Seattle, Callie had made a valiant attempt to make Arizona's life a living hell. 'When your brother died, you weren't there anymore. You stopped looking, talking or even seeing me. You completely shut down and all you saw was the next surgery. And then you told me that you no longer wanted children and everything I thought that I wanted was gone. I didn't have you anymore and the life I thought we'd have was also gone.' Callie's voice trails off as she's unsure if she should continue. Telling the whole truth could blow up in her face and make the situation worse.

'And' Arizona prods, wanting Callie to continue. For the first time in years, Callie is opening up to her. Since her brother's death, Callie's walls had been impenetrable as both women had gone in self-preservation mood. Although understanding that she herself had done the same thing, Arizona had laid it all on the line by chasing down Callie.

'So I lashed out, kept bringing up the kid issue not only because I still wanted one, but it was the only time I could get a reaction from you. It was the only time the real you was there was when we were screaming at each other. I know it was an immature, reckless and wrong but I didn't know what else to do. You wouldn't talk to me about anything. You weren't there anymore. I just wanted my wife back. So in the end, I convinced myself that I didn't need you to be happy. That you were replaceable, but a child in my life wasn't. So I left to force you to choose me over everything else going on in your life. Because I thought you hadn't come to Miami, I just gave up. I couldn't fight any longer.'

'Because it's your way or the highway' Arizona mutters out. 'Because it always has to be your way.'

'I thought I was fighting for our dream, fighting for what we wanted. But in the end, I forgot what the dream even was. I though having a baby would bring me happiness. I forgot that my happiness was entwined with yours. I believed that I could live without you. But I can't, I need you Arizona.'

'You didn't fight for us, you just gave up and walked out on me. You discarded me like a piece of rubbish as you aimed to find a newer version of me that would give you what you wanted to hear.' Arizona replies, beginning to feel frustrated. 'Because I feel like that since I told you in Miami that I wanted to have children, you are only fighting for that reason. How do I know you want me for me? That you aren't just saying this because you have finally got your way.'

'Because it's always been you, with or without children – it will always be you.' Callie simply replies. The words coming out of her mouth aren't meant to appease Arizona or to placate Arizona into taking her back. Before Callie had sought out Arizona, she couldn't remember the last time she was truly happy as the façade she constructed to fool herself and those around her had existed for so long it had become hard to distinguish the real her. But Arizona had torn down the smokescreen of deceit and made her seen the really Callie in the mirror. The bitchy, egotistic, self-righteous woman that she now was as far cry from the woman that Arizona had married.

'And you'd accept my decision if we never had children?' Arizona asks, because she's still not convinced about Callie's true feelings towards her.

'Yes' Callie replies.

Why this sudden change in opinion. Just a couple of days ago you were still a bull saying that you _have _to have a baby. So do you really expect me to believe that you've changed your mind? That done the line, you won't resent me if we decided not to?'

'I won't. Because I married you not because you were the person I wanted to live with, but you were the person I can't live without. Baby or no baby.' Callie adds in a firm voice causing Arizona to throw her an incredulous look. Noting the look on Arizona face, Callie hastily continues to talking, 'I'm not happy, I was just pretending to be. I was hoping that I could convince myself that I was ok. That I didn't need you to be happy because I felt so betrayed when you pulled away. So I walked away because children are the one issue you can't comprise on. You can't kind of have a baby. I believed that I would resent you for the rest of my life if I stayed. I thought that my happiness was entwined with the need to have a child – not entwined with you. But I was wrong.'

'And it's taken you three years to reach this resolution? You never sought me out, you never contacted me once since you walked out of our apartment in New York.' Arizona asks, exasperation evident in her tone. It's like some twist of fate that when Arizona starts to come to terms with the fact that has lost Callie for good, that Callie then decides the fight for them.

'Yes…no…I don't know.' Callie stutters out. Callie's not sure when she had the revelation that she needed Arizona in her life. She's almost certain that she has been kidding herself all these years as she pretends to have moved on. 'As hard as I've tried to move on, to hate you and to live my life, I can't. I feel guilty when I go on a date, I compare everyone to you and I still have the habit of reaching to your side of the bed. I've been kidding myself for all these years, and doing a poor job at that. I love you and I made the biggest mistake of my life walking away from you. I know I have no right to ask, but give _us _one more chance.' Callie pleads as she attempts to convince the love of her life that they can finally be on the same page.

Arizona shocked by Callie's admission of love and puts some distance between them by standing up and pacing in front of the tree. Callie doesn't push Arizona and gives her time to think about all that she has said. Arizona needs to sort this out for herself. For years, this is all Arizona had wanted for Callie to say. That her love was enough for Callie.

'You love me?' Arizona finally asks as she whirls back to face Callie. 'After all these years, you have the nerve to tell me that. I begged you to tell me this when we were signing our divorce papers. I moved halfway across the country to fight for you. I laid my heart bear and pleaded with you to give us a second chance. And I lost you _again_ because of your pig headedness. And now you tell me that you love me!' Callie mutely nods her head, knowing that at the moment, this is rhetorical. 'You can't keep stringing me along like this! Why now Calliope, why now?' Arizona questions angrily.

'Because I can't lose you again' Callie says in a convincing tone. Callie feels like Arizona is slipping away from her. Standing up to face Arizona, Callie grabs Arizona's hand hoping that physical contact with get through to Arizona. Flinching at Callie's touch, Arizona briefly considers pulling away. But Callie's touch is not something Arizona could ever pull away from. 'Please, Arizona. We can fix this. We can get the real us back. I love you and I never stopped loving you. I'm so sorry and ashamed that it took me a divorce and you leaving me to realise that I need you.' Callie earnestly replies as she strokes her thumb up and down Arizona's hand, praying that this will not be the last time she gets the privilege of doing this.

'But there's so much between us. Sometimes it's better to just walk away. To know when it's over and accept that we gambled and lost. Maybe there is nothing less to save. We don't fight fair; we bring up past hurts to rile each other up. The same problem keeps resurfacing.' Arizona says, more to herself than to Callie. She no longer even feels Callie's touch as her mind is in turmoil. When Arizona had left Miami just a few days ago, she had honestly believed that their relationship was over. Arizona knew that she would never move on and fall in love again, but she did know that there was nothing left to do, say or save. But Callie's appearance has made Arizona doubt those conclusions.

'Do you honestly believe that we are over?' Callie questions, pulling Arizona out of her internal analysis of the situation. Her heart sunk when she had heard the words fall from Arizona's mouth. Callie knew that she didn't really deserve a second, third or fourth chance. But here she was asking Arizona to do that very thing. If there is even the slightest chance that Arizona would give them a chance, Callie would take it with both hands.

'I don't know' Arizona replies as she looks at Callie, really seeing her for the first time. For the first instance in a long time, there is now no disdain or anger being thrown her way. The hatred has faded and Arizona no longer feels like a disappointment. 'What makes this time any different from Miami or the times before that? What makes you think that we can fix this? And what about your mother?'

'She will no longer be an issue in my life.'

'Oh really?' Arizona replies sarcastically. 'In your mother's eyes, I was the flavour of the month that you unfortunately married. I was the dyke that somehow converted you to _my _perverted ways. And you let her because she had you wrapped around her little finger. Because you were so desperate for her approval you let her treat me and our relationship like crap. And now, after all these years you expect me to believe she's not going to be an issue!'

'I ended my relationship with her.' Callie calmly replies, as if they were talking about the weather. Whatever sharp retort Arizona was going to say dies off as she takes in what Callie has said.

'You ended you relationship with your mother?' Arizona finally manages to stutter out, her eyes wide in shock. Slumping back down against the tree, Arizona runs her hands through her hair. Those words were some that Arizona never thought she would hear from Callie. The hold Lucia Torres had over her daughter was frightening. The old adage of 'you say jump, I say how high' was an accurate description of the state of the mother-daughter relationship. For Callie to end her relationship with her mother, it shows that for once Callie is trying to make a mends.

'Yes, I always believed that she still had my best intentions at heart. That she just didn't understand what you meant to me. I knew about the jabs and the insults, but because you never mentioned them, I figured you had learnt to deal with that. I avoided any confrontation with her. I never knew that our relationship had become this unhealthy. But I didn't just do this for you; I did this for us and for me.'

Silence falls between the couple as both women as think about where to go from here. There are no more accusations, yelling or screaming to be done. Everything had been laid on the table and all their past indiscretions have been raised. Arizona has never doubted her love for Callie. But sometimes love isn't enough in a relationship. Spotting the inner turmoil of Arizona's face, Callie leaves her to her own devices. Callie knows why she's here – she wants Arizona back in her life. But if Arizona wants to give Callie another chance is another matter entirely.

'What do you want to do?' Callie asks in a small voice, scared that the answer will end any hope that she had for Arizona to remain in her life. Arizona rings her hands in nervousness as her answer is life changing. If Callie had asked this question in Miami, Arizona would have quickly answered in an affirmative manner and thrown herself at Callie. But after Miami, Arizona was sceptical about the honesty in Callie's statements. Should Arizona open up her heart again to Callie and risk being left heart-broken again. Although Arizona believed that Callie's responses were genuine at the moment, could Callie be trusted?

'I don't know' Arizona replies as she fidgets with her hands in her lap.

'It's your choice' Callie adds. 'I want to fix this and I know we can.' In this moment, Callie would take anything that Arizona offered her – even if that was just friendship at the moment.

'How can we even fix this? We have never been able to talk to each other.' Arizona responses. They had never tried to save their marriage as communication had been non-existent. It had been about self-preservation and getting their own way. Communication had always been a weakness in their relationship; they'd fight, apologise and have make-up sex. After that, the issue was forgotten without any resolution ever being reached. How could this time be any different?

'We'll take it slow, keep our relationship platonic and see how that goes. We can also seek professional help to ensure that we communicate properly. I know it's not going to be easy, but I want to try. There's a lot we have to work on.' The wives had done too much damage to each other to simply sweep it all under the rug and jump right back into a sexual relationship. As much Callie wanted to close this chapter of her life and start again with Arizona, they needed to work through all these issues. 'So are we going to try?' Callie asks.

Reading the earnest expression on Callie's face, Arizona knows that her decision has already been made. Maybe there was no decision to be made in the first place as once Callie chased after her, Arizona could never say no. It terrifies Arizona that Callie still has this hold over her heart, but in all honesty – Arizona wouldn't have it any other way.

'Yes, we are going to fix this _together_' Arizona replies grasping Callie's hand lightly. A few months ago, Arizona had never thought she would have the chance to physically touch Callie again. Hell, a few days Arizona thought she'd never have this opportunity. They haven't fixed their relationship by any means, but at least they have the same dream now. Resting her head softly on Callie's shoulder, Arizona finally sees the light at the end of the tunnel.

XXXX

A/N 2: This is really the final chapter. I'm know going to be finishing Chapter 2 of '_Irreconcilable differences_'. Thank you all for reading, alerting and reviewing. And for old time's sakes, review and tell me what you thought.


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